Endings and Beginnings Part I

I dislike endings.  Maybe I am afraid of them too.  The end of movies, the ending of  a book (but not a chapter), even the end of my teaching classes.  The worst, however, is the end of the school
 year.  It was even bad when I was a kid.


Back then June was pretty nice.  The days were long and hot and a lot of  us were playing soccer in the big backyard
of a friend down the street. Or the people right next to the soccer yard were very kind and opened up their backyard pool to the neighborhood.  They all had huge backyards on the OTHER side of the street.  We just had normal size backyards.  But anyway, June was nice because school wasn't so hard in June and we just had lots of time to mess around.  Still I think I liked March or April the best.  Sometime still in the thick of the plot long enough away from the end.

Soccer house on left, open pool on right

When the end of June rolled around my family had to prepare for our vacation and close our regular house and make a big travel to our summer house.  Mind you, by the time we got to our summer house, I was very happy and excited.  But that was a known BEGINNING and not an end.

You may be asking, what does this have to do with the price of sheep and being a father?  Well, besides the fact that I just like to reminisce a bit,  it is still the same now that I am a father.  The end of the school year is sad.  The worst was two years ago when my youngest daughter finished three years of pre school and both my girls were done with that school.  We wouldn't be going back there anymore.

But I think the biggest, toughest part about finishing something is the fear of moving on and knowing that you have to start, perhaps, something new or unknown.  Beginnings are often not comfortable.  They are out of the comfort zone.  Not like the middle of March or April.

This year was even more frightening because it would be the first summer where I would be taking care of my daughters by myself.  In last summers my Mother was there for support and a lot of help.  My wife has to stay home and go to her job.  But this year my Mother would not be with us in the vacation as she was staying down in the hot hot South and we would be in the temperate pleasant North.  (We would visit her for a week, but ultimately the heat in the south didn't make it very enjoyable).

For three weeks it would just be me and the daughters.  I mean, the name of my blog is 40 per cent daddy at home and I have been taking care of them , sometimes more and sometimes less, but this was a big move to do everything myself.  To be responsible for having everything in place including three meals a day plus snacks.  Even for a loving care taker father this is a bit daunting.  Or maybe I am only speaking for myself.  But maybe not.  Understand the situation.  There was no other person around to fall back on if something went wrong or got messed up.  No wife or mother or anyone around.

Not only was I travelling half way across the world with them as usual, but then renting the car,  being the driver every time, buying the groceries, making sure the food is in the fridge and the meals will be planned for some time of day to be eaten and getting around everywhere, or even just staying in place.  All up to me. Or should I say down to me?  Granted as happened on the second day, if the food isn't in place to get cooked and eaten, I can fall back on taking them out to dinner.  I know many people cant have that back up.

OK, so I live in the western world and things are easier to take care of, .... but still....... Three weeks.  Everything is my responsibility.  Two little kiddlers.  Just me.

End of Part I

Spider Lake, Michigan