Thus with a great understanding of how lucky I am each and every day despite this or that problem and ongoing problems, I continue my mission of the development of fathers home for their children and the hurdles encountered by myself. I do so in part with the hope that more fathers now and in the future will spend more time with their children with the knowledge of the problems which can occur, but with educational weaponry to be ready to jump those hurdles with ease.
Of note, my wife has been in the hospital now for five days at time of writing also because of a virus which may or may not be dangerous (not Ebola, but Meningitis), so I am completely on my own with the kids this week, with a little more than usual stress and worry concerning the wife AND the younger child who is also fighting a virus of some sort. This will be subject of part two of this post. Once again, my heart goes out to strong fathers in the Philippines who's wives are working over seas to make money for the family and the fathers are 100 per cent with their children. I wish I could make contact with these - hopefully - wonderful fathers, though some are not so wonderful and are having trouble jumping the hurdles. I wish I could hear their stories.
I for one know how it is to be tired in the morning. I am a night owl and like to work in the evening. Getting up for school for me was a Herculean task and if they had just started school half an hour later I think I could have been spared a lot of anguish growing up. Thus, a couple Mondays before when my older girl absolutely could not get up at 7am, then 7.10, then 7.15, I did not push her. It all is just too recent in my memory how terrible it was to get up early. My wife was getting angry and said, ok, but I had to take the responsibility, call the teacher, provide the excuse for her being late. OK.
So my little darling stayed in bed till 7.40 then got up. I had called the teacher and said she had had some "problems" and would miss the first class, but would make the second class. My wife then proceeded to say she would take her over there and get her there in the middle of the first class. I asked why? Just come for the second class. I guess she was angry that I had let her sleep late in the first place. She said, it was the law to go to school if capable, but she continued to berate me for disagreeing with her plan to get her there only twenty minutes late. She would rather have our student walk in in the middle of class when I thought it was better to wait for the bell and put her surreptitiously into school at the second class. A silly argument.
Now here comes the sad part. My little girl took the side of her Mother and started yelling at me too!! She was wide awake now and getting on her clothes. She was ready to go. They were both yelling at me. I just couldn't believe it. I had been the protector and savior of my daughter letting her sleep in and not pushing her out of bed and now here she was yelling at me!!!! Well I ll be. That was really,... that really took the cake. And I pointed at her and said, "well that is the last time I stick up for you. I wont have a spoiled little daughter here crying for her way all the time" I was angry. Mainly because I felt so betrayed by her. She had no concept of political payback. No concept of "I`ll scratch your back, you scratch mine". I (sadly) vowed the honeymoon was over and I had to be a strict straight up father from now on. I was angry but disheartened at the same time.
All three women left the apartment scowling and yelling at me. My three year old also. But that is to be taken for granted. She loves her Mother more. I have already accepted that. Uh, sort of.
I will not let her sleep in anymore, unless she is truly sick. Live and become more responsible, I guess. Life just seems to be the development of jading over. Going from everything is wonderful to the general losing of sheen to the downright tiredness of it all. They say it is the process of maturing. Harrumph, I guess some people are growing up their entire lives. Is it necessary to grow up for everything though?
To have closure. I forgave my daughter, who I love very much, by the evening and was happy to read her a book and hold her hand before sleep. Daddy, all is forgiven and probably forgotten.
Music lisened to while writing this post: http://www.theleaflabel.com/en/releases/view/114/Murcof/Remembranza/BAY%2047CD
