I m a survivor ----?

A possible preview advert for a new season of "I m a survivor". 

In our new season, dads talk about surviving being alone with their teenage daughters and sons.  a weekend, 5 days,  2 weeks!  Dad Max has a 15 year old teenage daughter (in the background said daughter is singing along with a new tik tok video which uses some sort of cat lyrics.  She is singing  "meow meow meow meomeomeomeo mee yow...") and he has to spend two weeks, no, more than two weeks alone with her as the other half of the family is going on an extended spring vacation.  Dad couldnt. He had to work and be home with the other daughter.  "oh lord give me strength" we heard Max mutter as daughter was singing the cat song again, and then going to some "ye" song.   ("Kane" West, doh).  

Back to reality now.  Yeah, that was what I was thinking at the beginning of the two weeks as the other two left for vacation and my daughter started singing the cat song. I immediately thought of a new season of Im a survivor featuring,... Me. 

Then I was going to write again after two weeks and give the "survival view".   That would be close to today, tomorrow or Monday.  

So far, it looks like, as Gloria Gaynor sings, "I will survive."  (bad dad joke). Except my back is still worse even though I tried to start up my back exercises again.  It feels better just to stand all day.  Sitting wrecks it up. But I divert or divest. Not sure which.  

The ROYAL pain is that she doesnt like most of the food I make, or just doesnt eat it. Seriously its not my fault, I ask her what she will eat? What I can make, but she just makes herself some stupid noodle dish.  Which meant I had to do regular shopping AND I stocked up on other foods AND I still had to give her money to buy her own food.  So you would think I could have saved some money with only the two of us, but it didnt really work out that way. It came out just about the same as when the whole family is here.  Strange. Strange brew in fact.  

So economically, I survived, but didnt thrive. I wasnt even able to climb my way out of some debt with fewer food payments, as i was hoping.  No. 

She had vacation and I had work so she was mostly still sleeping when I left for work. And I go to work later than others.  But it was a pain because she stayed up till 2 or 3 am (actually it is 1.30 am now, but Saturday night, so I am allowed to stay up too).I sleep like a deer so i would hear her padding around and eating cereal at 1am and doing this and that.  Sleep ..... was bad.  I get my "cleaning brain" deep sleep from midnight or  1am to 5.30 am after which I have my worse REM sleep where I dream too much.  So she was making noise just in my deep sleep time which messed it up and my brain didnt get cleaned out as well.  This means I can blame my alzheimer on her later in my life because my amyloids (sp?) werent cleaned out as well living with a teen ager who went to bed at 3am. 

SHE yelled at me.  "Well, without Mom home, someone has to yell at you,"  She said.  (I dont get no respect in this home, not even Donald Trump could maintain his ego in this household, let alone my lower self esteem hubris).  Granted I did nag her.  Parents have to nag.  But she threw it back in my face. Last Sunday: Please clean the bathroom before you go on your trip on Wednesday and can you do a dark laundry?  Yeah I ll do it.  She actually did it Thursday as she didnt go so she slept on Wednesday and did it Thursday.  

But all I asked was to please put away the paired socks I did that are on the couch. How that caused her to have a complete tyrannical, unhinged shout at me, I really dont know.  She sometimes has a short temper, like her mother.  ugh.  So then she refused to cook the dinner.  Well, ok.  Too bad I mean, but I ve been cooking anyway.  

She did clean the bathroom really well though and did the laundry.  I appreciated that. 

We did have some nice times. Although I was hoping we could go see a movie together. We stayed at home instead and watched.  Twice.  Once she fell asleep.  The second one she stayed awake.  Uncharted movie.  We have interesting conversations on occasion.  Better than when there are other people in the house.  She is able to have an intelligent conversation.  Even though she doesnt study much, she seems to have a lot of information.  I wish her head would get in order and she could find a direction with her information, but I suppose that will come.  I really am not going to push her ON THAT.  Seeing as I had no idea myself for most of my life and still sometimes now.  

She did feel regret that she hadnt been productive enough one day. So she suddenly got up from the couch at midnight after watching 5 hours of tik tok or whatever and did the i-roning, the laundry and cleaned her room till 3am in the morning!  I too was "lazy" and just felt like watching late night programming and reading the newspaper every night till 1am instead of writing or working or doing something productive. I too was very tired.  So... I shouldnt be hypocritical.  

Dismayed

The point is... well, I am kind of dismayed that nothing turned out well enough. Not the money, not the sleep, and not the going out with my daughter.  But... it wasnt a fiasco.  I think a total failure would have been nagging and yelling every day, really badly.  Occasionally it happened, but then it worked out and we got back to talking with each other. Even after I said out in the open that 15 year old teen agers are ... really ... bad. I am not sure I used those nice words.  She said, "so I am bad?" I said, well no, and yes, its just that your brain cant put things in a good order and often just acts out of impulse and doesnt choose well.  In a couple years it will be able to manage things better, and hopefully make better choices.  

But I guess I have survived the ordeal.  I am a survivor

But actually this is not how I thought this post would be written. I thought it would have a lot more survivor emotion and intensity and then we battled and then she yelled at me and turned up her hip hop.  Some of that did happen, but really it just was a going along life is life.  Why I have people in China reading my blog is beyond me, but thats cool.  It really is just down to earth banal even possibly boring little incidents.  But thanks in China and even in Russia for reading. I kind of think they must be robots. Who else would read this tripe? 

hahahahahahahahhahahah

Car bomb and Spoke. 

Again I have been listening to this band  CAR BOMB. This album "Meta" will just give you brain melt or will rattle you from your toes to the hair on your head. Or rattle your spine.  Incredible.  Maybe it is good for my back, or bad.

Just "refound" SPOKE S  other cd album.  "done" in the store warehouse.  Last one.  I love their chord changes. 90s melodic hard core. From 1994.  I m going to buy it myself.   

Afterword

On the next day after I wrote the above. She really ripped into me and said I dont know how to cook. I should get a real cookbook (my wife got me the one I use to cook)and  learn how to cook MEALS not vegetarian chili or curry thai chicken.  Cook.... I dont know, get a different cook book. I was confused.  I was deeply hurt and offended. I wanted to give everything up. I should have asked her, "well how would you do it?  Can you give me help on how to make it better?"  But I think she would have repeated to get another cook book.  I had to get out of the house it really hurt. After I gave her money to buy some fast food crap because she wouldnt eat my food.   Surviving, but not very well.  I might make another mix of this post.  Write it again like a real survival show.