Nostalgia I

 

I was riding in the streetcar to work today and I saw a man about thirtyish get on with a stroller with a kid in it and another kid who was ambulatory on his own.   The older kid sat in a seat and the Dad held the stroller and stood.  For some reason the dad didnt want the little kid in the stroller touching a metal bar across the window.  He kept saying "no" and then he pulled the stroller away from the window so the kid couldnt reach the bar. But the kid was still trying to stretch out of the stroller and reach the bar.  Whatever, kids like to touch stuff or push buttons or stuff like that. I couldnt think at first why he didnt want the kid touching the bar, but then I thought he was pretty smart because you know it is flu season and you figure that so many sick people are still going outside and they touch the hardware in the street cars and then someone else picks up the germs.  You know little kids always put their hands in their mouths too, so it is easily passed on.  Come to think of it it was pointed out to me how much even adults touch their eyes and mouth during the day even every couple minutes, so we arent much better.  

But the point being that here was a dad. Here was a dad being a dad to the young ones.  

I thought about my days 10 years ago when I pushed the big baby buggy and

held another kid by the hand and we walked down to the park at the train station.  I still remember quite clearly being very conscious of being the only person walking under the viaduct while the cars went by.  Not only the only one walking, but a dad with a carriage and kid holding my hand.  But I wasnt the first to be in such a situation.  No no.  In fact I was impressed in the 90s a good friend brought up his son alone.  And he was a foreigner bringing up a kid alone as a Dad.  How tough that must have been? 

I remember even then, after we got to the park, I guess the littlest one wanted to follow her sister. I think it was that day that her older sister climbed to the top of the rope pyramid. (Pictured above in the upper right corner)  She was three and over, probably four.  The younger one wanted to climb the ropes too, but she couldnt even get on the first rung.  

The point being that it was fine. It was a nice day, I had fun.  I remember it fondly. I dont know what was wrong with me bringing the kids to the park.  Just the walking to and from the park along the busy street got my nerves shaking.  

Well, I hope this guy on the street car didnt feel conscious carrying his kids around. I hope he had a nice Saturday out with them, maybe took them to a park for the couple "warm" hours (this is the beginning of January, so warm is relative) in the day.  I hope he watched them and helped them climb the bars and get to the top and afterwards maybe some french fries from a restaurant or better some fruit slices.  I hope he had a nice day that he will remember for much longer than ten years. 

Be strong dads.  This is not weakness being out with your kids. The opposite. It is stronger to be a dad to your kids.  

FLU time again is back

 Hi folks. I hope the new year 2022 is starting out well.  I did nothing that I normally do on the first of January this year.  I stayed in bed all day and watched an old sitcom.  I did not eat the soup with the scales in it , or where you have the fish scales under your plate.  So maybe,... no, it has never worked in the past.  So I didnt really care HOW I started the new year this year.   

I would like to say though that I think the year will be heading back to normal as we progress.  I know you might be saying I am crazy.  200 000 new cases of covid in one day in France.  The US averaging 500 000 new cases a day when the last biggest day was 250 000.  1.5 million new cases in the whole world every day. It is still going strong and especially now as the Northern hemisphere is going through winter cold season.  But you know... besides this... I think things will be heading to normal through this year.

Let me explain.  

I always get the flu.  Every year.  I got the flu vaccination one year. I got the flu that year too.  The shot gave me the flu and I got it pretty bad actually.  Then I decided I didnt want to take the flu vaccination after that. As a result.. I got the flu every year.  

When it was later, it came in December. If it was earlier, I got it in November.  But I can remember that I have had the flu every fall for the past at least 5 years if not ten.  Even longer.  That one flu shot I did get took place around 17 years ago.  

Every year.  For a long time. 

Until last year, 2020.

I did not get the flu last year.  Why not? Well because everyone had covid.  Everyone had a face mask on and we werent breathing on each other.  We had lockdown since the beginning of the flu season till the end. I had a normal open retail for about 5 weeks total.  There was very little contact between people.  I met very few people except my family.  And they met no one either.  So there was not much flu.  Some types of flu disappeared even.  They became extinct from what I understand.   I did not get the flu.   Wasn't that crazy?  

One year forward and guess what happened this year?  Bingo.  I got the flu again.  

My wife had stopped booking vacations for Christmas vacation because EVERY YEAR someone in our family would be sick during that time.  But in 2019 we took a long vacation and no one got sick and in 2020 no one got sick even though we were home all Christmas vacation.  So she thought the curse had been broken.  So she booked a small New Years 4 day weekend skiing trip for the whole family this year in 2021.  

The Curse wasnt lifted. I got sick and had to stay at home.  We lost the money on my booked bed and ticket.  Rats.  Rats moreso that the flu is back.  I was in bed for 4 days and STILL had the stuffed nose. I thought it would be a 3/3/3 cold but so far the last three lasted 5 then 6 days and there was an extra three of "still not that great, still not better".  (I got a PCR test and it was negative so it wasnt covid, not even omicron).  And that was a doozy of a flu. The middle three days were terrible, kind of terrifying even.   I think I will try the flu vaccination next year.  Remind me in the Fall to get one.  Remind me that the flu I got now was very scary.  I dont want that one again.   

So, flu is back. The Christmas flu ruining our holiday is back.  How more normal can you get than me getting the flu during flu season?  Nothing. So that is why I say things will start to return to normal this year.  Me getting the flu is as normal as normal can be. 

Cheers.  

Thanks for reading. 

Hope you indeed will have a better year. 

Wishing everyone for the new year wealth and more importantly HEALTH for the full year

Listened to this CD at least three times while writing. Very nice strings and guitar downtempo.  Be reminded that I only listen to CDs or Vinyls I have or have for sale soon.  This is a cd I have. It is from 2002.  I do not listen to stuff on internet during writing.  And mostly only new stuff that i have to think about buying.  

Whoops first time I couldnt find the picture for it.  I guess I have to take it myself. 

SANTA aint allowed around here no more, if....

 

Well that wonderful time of year which never really is so wonderful has finished once again. Or at least we are into the second half of it past the gift giving and complaining and the usual Christmas tantrum past that to New Years Eve.  Thank goodness.  Although I do love the Christmas tree. It is lit now and I stop writing and take a look at it. Meanwhile the New Years Eve bombs go off on the street.  

The way it works around here is the daughters write to Santa in December what they want and leave the note on the windowsill.  Santa takes the note off the sill in the night and fulfills or does not fulfill her wishes.  My younger daughter always asks for a bunch of stuff most of which I can fulfill. And she always asks for the usual collection of fruits: grapefruits, oranges, and lemons and any other fruits.  That is nice.  Santa can get together a big box, it looks good under the christmas tree, which is filled with good fruits.  

What all kids should get for Xmas

My other daughter usually asks for a number of high ticket things which if we manage one it might be a small class miracle. And I am not talking about wishes for world peace either.  She usually asks for bicycles and ponies, and now for skiis, a snow board and on and on.  

But this year she asked for just one thing from Santa:  a Nintendo Switch.  Just that.  OMFG.  

See, if you have been following me over the year or two during the pandemic, I have been complaining every so often every third or fourth post about my daughters watching time on her telephone. Or rather her over watching time.  First it was her playing too much DURING school and not even paying attention during school in progress. Well it wasnt stated explicitly in that post maybe but duing that time I was very frustrated with their "combination" of playing on their gadget at the same time school was in progress.   And then about Steve Jobs and in general how iphones SUCK.

  Life used to be good before Iphones and general smart phones took over the world.  Now the world just plain sucks.  Oh and what about playing time on phones?  Now that is racheted up and encouraged by Roblox (tm or C or whatever) to block up as many daily hours of your loved ones starting from the age of five.  2.56 hours on Roblox, an hour or two on tv, maybe more, AND or while doing both, listening to the radio on the phone, but extra time too... say 6 hours a day looking at that demon dingy gadget.  That just is disgusting.  

So now, picture it, fathom it, get your mind around this!: my daughter is going to ask Santa for a box so she can spend another 2 to three hours watching and playing on the screen???  And that is the one thing she asked Santa to get!??

Well, I am sorry Santa but if you come around here showing your face with that Nintendo Switch my daughter asked for, or with any playstation or xbox or by any other name, the cookies and the milk will not be on the table, nor carrots for the reindeer, not even a pick me up for Rudolf's nose.  Santa dearie, you will NOT BE ALLOWED AROUND HERE NO MO'  

Well as it was my daughter did not get the nintendo or any other brand. She DID get this good quality speaker (I dont want to say the brand because I dont  do any brand promoting, but brand demoting, no problem) which can hook up to your cell phone and play your music through a quality speaker.  It cost a pretty penny but .. it was okayed by me.  

As a result, Santa is not on my shitlist.  He is welcome here next year

Happy new year to everybody and a better year to come for 2022.  In my next blog I will be telling you how I know it is getting back to normal.  

Just finished reading this ridiculously long, overly long book by Tomas Pynchon.  Now I have read three of his books. Although sometimes I think I read one three times.  And I was listening to a lot of music, including this old CD I want to sell.  

Dad thinking about Dad and thinking about future Dad

a book by my father

 I have reached an age where I am the same age as my father was as I came into "being able to remember".  

I tried to make that sound less confusing, but anyway I write it, it still does. I have to explain it. 

In my opinion my memories which are solid and not slippery came into being when I was about ten years old, like third or fourth grade, and especially fifth grade.  When I was that age my father was X years old.  Now I am that same "X" age that my father was when I was 10.  

Why is this interesting?

Because I think I can finally feel or have an inkling of how my father felt when he was this age.  Now when I look a certain way, I suddenly think, "Oh, yeah, my father used to make that face. I think he was feeling or thinking the same way I do now."  Or, "yes, my father used to have the same reaction to this situation, I bet he was feeling the same way I am now." 

Its funny because I will always be my father's son, but in a way, by this age, I have become his peer a little bit.  More as if we were brothers who acted or thought similarly.  In this manner I feel a stronger kinship with my father even if he has passed on. 

One more example.  My father used to be very quiet on questions.  But I think I get it now. He wasnt so much as quiet as just thinking about it and turning it over in his head.  I take time to answer questions too. People think I havent heard because I dont answer right away, but I am just thinking.  It isnt a snap process.  

Beloved jeans

Or my "love" of old clothes.  My wife hates my old clothes. She says I look like a homeless person and throw them away they make me look terrible.  I like to wear them because a) they are comfortable and nostalgic for me making me feel more at ease and b) I dont like the throw away culture.  Things should last. We shouldnt just throw them away because they have a hole in them or are out of style.  My father was the same way on at least one account.  He didnt like to throw things away. He didnt like that throwaway consumerism.  But ... maybe, I think, he also felt comfortable in his old clothes. I couldnt tell that they were out of style. I dont think my father ever wore anything that was in style.  But maybe they had been in style when he had bought them, but were out when he was still wearing them x years later.   I guess he never looked like a homeless person though. I always thought he looked well dressed, well, like a professor, who, walked a lot. Which he was. His pants werent faded or dirty.  Now, since the 70s, its been a jeans culture and I guess when jeans fade they look like homeless clothes and dirty.

My Fathers hat.  

  Do professors wear faded jeans these days?  

So, times change, but our feelings are passed on from generation to generation.  Maybe.  

Now both my daughters are at an age where they will have "solid" memories.  Now is when I better watch my self and give good impressions and try to build my legacy.  

Speaking of legacy, how will my daughters think of me in the future?  When they reach the age I am now, will they have epiphanies and say, "Oh, yeah, that is probably what Dad was thinking."  Or, "Oh boy, I thought he was being mean, not letting me stay out so late, but in fact he was pretty nice and lenient letting me stay out at all considering it was dark from 5pm and I was only 13 years old."  Maybe I will be redeemed and an aura of good will from them will be emitted and maybe wash over me.  

I hope I will still be alive to see the day and feel the new good vibe. 

 

I listened to this full cd just before I started writing. Its a couple decades old. 

Of course the Talking Heads.  But a special version. I think this one is pretty hard to get.  It isnt bootleg, but it was discontinued as it wasnt "sanctified".  I guess it is just about the same as "stop making sense" the movie and accompanying CD.  This one has 5 more songs.  

 

How we grow up fighting our siblings. part 2

 

Exactly five years ago on November 8th I wrote a post on my daughters "discovering" fighting with each other.  On Nov8 2016 I wrote this post.  

My younger daughter was 5 years old at the time and older daughter 8.  It seems amazing that they started fighting with each other at such a young age.  

I ask myself now how did it start at such a young pure age?   In the post listed above, I just noted mostly that it was fun  for me  to fight.  That is why  I dismissed it and tried not to take sides when my daughters began fighting.  Now I am wondering if there is not in fact something darker and negative. 

At the same time in the past five years my relation with a sibling has not always been pleasant on contact with emails. 

This is what happened.  It was in 2016 that I wrote that post. In the meantime Donald Trump came in and spent four years in the white house.  The atmosphere on social networks became much nastier.  In fact my emails with my sibling became or usually ended up combatitive.  I guess it was happening all the time, or in fact I had more discussions and they always left me angry and with bad adrenaline.  Mostly it seemed to me that they just wanted to beat me in the discussion and they had no intention of agreeing with me or saying yes that is correct,  agreeing or being diplomatic.  It just seemed like, well, a gladiator tournament.  

I grew very tired of these "discussions" and tried to stay away.  But of course you cant help writing an email once in a while.  But they all ended the same.  

You know, the "weird" thing is both my parents seemed to stay away from their siblings while they

were bringing up kids.  It was only after their kids had grown up that they got back together and started talking or visiting their siblings.  My father had a fight with his brother because his brother worked for a tobacco company and was trying to prove smoking tobacco was safe.  Yup, that was my Uncle. .  My Mother and her sister didnt have much contact during their mid life adult years but were great friends after  retirement.    

I said in my post that I just liked teasing my one sister.  But I havent spoken to her now in 10 years besides for one zoom meeting.  I guess 2008 was the last meeting. Granted we dont really live that close to each other, in fact half way around the world from each other.   

Now I see my daughters fighting harder.  The younger one really will get into it and start huffing and puffing away.  Sometimes the older one gets out of control and gets really angry and starts lashing out, quite a lot.  .... It seems like it is more intense these days.  

Is there some sort of pattern happening?  

Maybe they are getting older (well, 13 and 10, still not adults) and what is developing is a long term relationship which will be in fact an anti relationship. They will not be in touch their whole adult lives.  Is there a pattern?   Is there something I can do? Or do I just have to let the river run its course? We dont get to choose who our siblings are.  

Its my younger sister's birthday on November 9th.  Maybe I

should send an email and say something nice.  Maybe I was a jerk to her when I was a small kid. I just liked to tease her and fight good naturedly.

I couldnt listen to this while I was writing, but I listened before and after writing. It was too violent to listen while i was writing.  But a very hardcore intense album this one. Much harder than the others, I think.  

 I had to listen to music without singing.  So I opted for some Luke Slater.   

Our ingredients for a wonderful summer

 HI,

Basically I am writing my blog and my posts as a memoir for myself and perhaps my kids.  It is like a journal of me interacting with my kids.  A diary.  It is mostly for me, but I write it in a blog so it is public.  If there are 5 or 10 or 1000 people interested, whatever, that is fine.  But I have to tell you I am not writing it for you, I am writing it for me.  If you find it interesting, then I am very happy, but if no one reads it besides myself and three people, I dont really care.  Or I should be polite and say, that is also ok.  

The reason I mention this now is actually because this will be the first time I have thought about it.  I started thinkng about it because I knew I was going to write a post which really was probably not going to be interesting for anybody.  But then I thought, well does it have to be?  A lot of what I write here is probably boring or not intersting for people, this one wont be much different.  But all the same, I thought I should write a warning before this post. Then I thought I should write a whole forword and explain.  So... there it was and here it is

Our main ingredients for a happy summer  

Spider Lake and Greilick Road.  I have been going there all my life, every summer. I missed the summer of 2020 so that is why we really had to go in 2021.  Despite the pandemic (it was getting better when I booked, but then was getting worse when we went) this is what I and now my daughters love.  I guess it is not impossible to fall in love with a place.  I have.  Now my daughters love it too.  I cant really say what is so spectacular about the lake.  It is big enough and not too big.  It is getting more boats now, that is true.  A bit busier than when I was growing up on it.  But in my opinion it is just as beautiful as any body of water in the smaller lakes category.  It can compete and win against any New Hampshire, Minnesota, or Northeast state lake.  I guess water has always attracted me.  Sun shining off the water is very beautiful.  The sparkle is magical.  But Spider Lake is even more magical. It has some magnet effect. 

1

We used to stay here (1) now we have to stay here.(2) A kind of very sad change that happened in 2018, but I guess it had to happen, maybe, maybe not, and at least we are still on Greilick Road very close to the old location and still in the neighborhood and on the lake.  But even sadder for me, as place 1 is where I grew up and my daughters started out there too.  Now it isnt ours anymore in a sudden change.  But....

2

 Then there is swimming.  Naturally in the lake I showed you in the picture above.  I guess these days the recipe calls for swimming at the island pictured below. It has the best swimmng area. It is very sandy and has a big area to swim in.  The problem is, that many other people believe the same.  So on the weekend it is too crowded to swim or we have to wait.  During the week it is fine.  

Michigan corn.  Sometimes we get to our vacation too early to get a lot of corn.  And then I have to cook more suppers, which is not good as I have a limited repertoire.  But this last summer it was August and the corn was in full swing.  We ate it nearly every day or every other day.  And Michigan corn is the best.  Sorry, nothing else comes close.   I know everyone will say their corn is the best, but, all I can say is you are wrong.  Ok, no sense to argue.  Corn on the cob is an integral ingredient for a wonderful summer.  This last summer 2021 it played a big role.  

The thing we do eat EVERY day even more than corn is really bad.  I guess it is my secret enjoyable sin.  Well, in fact it cant be mine because I never get any. My daughters love it even more than I , so I never get any. I have to make myself a regular sandwich lunch and they give me a couple spoonfuls which I was grateful for. Besides I knew it was nt so good for me, especially to eat every day, so a couple spoons was good enough.  And yes I realize I am a bad parent, but a good parent, for letting my daughters eat this awful(ly) bad/delicious food.  It is our favorite. We cant get it during the year.  So, it is a summer thing.  It is part of the summer ingredients.  Here it is.  

Then there are a couple other ingredients.   The best pizza restaurant in this section of the world.  That is another thing people are very patriotic about. Everyone will tell you the best pizza is made in.... Chicago, Ann Arbor, Tulsa Oklahoma.  I wont argue with these people because I do realize in this case that. well, yes there are good pizza restaurants in all parts of the U... world even and each person has his good memories and his idea of what is a good pizza.  But here is ours.  Best around.  Go there if you get up to these parts.  We always get it two or three times in the summer vacation.  Peegeos pizza is the best you can get around here.  And that is very good. 

Then there are assorted other things.  A couple other fast food joints that we go to like a tradition.  I have put up pictures of Bryant Park on Lake Michigan a couple times and it is a necessary ingredient for the summer vacation.  A new event as a result of the pandemic, since most of the restaurants were on lockdown still this last summer we had to get carry out from the restaurant and then eat it on a picnic table in front of the bay.  I have to say was a very pleasurable experience, especially on a sunny day. So maybe we will do that again next year.  Also the museum on the Northeastern Michigan campus we go to every year.  It has a great hands on learning room, which hasnt changed much in 5 years or more, but is still always enjoyable.  

There is one last thing that I must mention.  That is the local branch of the public library system.  The East Bay Township branch.  They have been an integral part of many of our summers, at least since the kids could read.  The staff has always been the nicest and they remember us every year even though we just come in the summer.  Especially nice are the extracurricular events they organize there, especially on Saturdays.  We have painted rocks, made colorful pom poms, watched old short animated films and of course gotten out ten books a shot.  Hats off to the wonderful people who work there.  You have to stop and pay respect to the "peripheral" people in your life who help make the whole life picture much nicer and better.  The library crew at East Bay township branch, well always wonderful and as a result an integral part of a great summer vacation.  

I listened to so many tracks while I was writing this that I am just going to end with a picture of the library instead of my usual recommendation of music I have or will get.  

Thanks for reading and maybe even enjoying.  Leave a message

Max 

Summer is usually wonderful. Well, duh.

 Its October now, but I still have summer on my mind.  And I am still going to write about summer. Summer is keeping it chilled. Getting a lot of sleep. Not stressing about how we look to others. Diminishing anxiety and stress.  Doing what we feel comfortable doing but being healthier too. 

In the summer everything is kinder. In October my daughters and I are still playing monopoly at least two games a week. But I had to stop one game in the middle because my daughters started fighting and then wrecking the board and getting vicious.  My temper line was crossed and I spit fire like a dragon at them and told them to go read.  Game over.  

In summer we never had fights like that.  We had one fight because a friend of one daughter came to visit and of course the other daughter who doesnt have a friend got jealous and started to provoke.  But we would go back to Monopoly every night even when the friend was there and play till 11 ot 11.30 pm

Now, we have to look at the clock and try to finish the round at 9.55. (oh come on dad, one more round, its not ten o clock yet).  I want them to get as much sleep as possible on school days, and I wish it could be 9 hours.  But it hasnt been hitting that.  Only on the weekends.  In the summer I didnt really care how long they slept.  In fact the more the better. I think our whole family is a late to bed late to rise family, so.... no point to resist. If we are awake at midnight and sleeping at 9 am, we dont have to get up to feed the farm animals.  

I DID always
get up and go rowing on the lake. I would come back and they were getting up, slowly.  No worries man. They were getting over 9 hours of sleep, 9 and a half.  More and better development for their brain with more sleep.  Overall good for the development of their tween and teenage selves.  

Speaking of development of their selves.  Have you heard of the studies out now that Instagram is bad for teenage kids and their image? I would guess that most kids try to look as beautiful as possible, "Look at me, arent I the most beautifulest?" And the other kids who cant live up to the beauty get depressed and get a negative image of themselves. Here is an article written by a teenager which sums it up the best  So, in the summer, my oldest daughter didnt have her telephone with her so she couldnt do IG or FB or those other social sites.  I didnt have to keep her from messing around  on her sites and wasting time indoors when she should have been outside.  That was much nicer.  I was spared the mental anguish of having to deal with that. You can look at all my

A Devil where his soul should be

posts and see how many ISSUES I have with gadgets.  

During the year it is always a struggle to keep her away and at a maximum of an hour a day watching or messing around on her telephone, usually playing games. She is an addicted gamester.   

At our summer place, she didnt have it. We swam and played monopoly and did a couple outings but nothing big.  

Speaking of outings, my wife organizes the outings, the big walks, the hikes, the travels. I am not so good at it.  But I think we compliment each other. So in the first half of the summer my daughters had big hikes and outings.  When they went on vacation with me, we had lots of monopoly games and an outing was a trip to the grocery store to buy food for the next couple days.  But one daughter is not a fan of big hikes, so she was relaxed and chilled on our vacation.  

Sleeping is a family activity

We did what we wanted.  A little bit more. I tried to keep the anxiety to a minimum which for me is very difficult because I get anxiety attacks having to get up in the morning. And driving is a major stress creator.  But I TRIED to keep my stress down.  For all of us. And ... to some extent .... it worked.  

Summer is nice. Summer is usually wonderful.   Our problems and anxieties melted and were buried in  the sand for a couple weeks.  

I have been listening to the echocord label.  Just discovered.  Techno dub.  Ohhhhhh great stuff.  

Comng out soon a triple lp collection to recognize their twentieth year.  I ll be ordering that!