OK, lets get down to the opinionated facts for this post and the problem of Daddy taking care of his kids at home.
Males have different chemicals running through their bodies than females. I think testosterone is one of the major differences between the sexes, but i can stand to be corrected. This simple fact which is opinion, causes a lot of problems for Daddy to become a good, stay at home Parent.
Why?
Because the most important (one of the most important) rule of parenthood is to follow the three P s of parenting: Patience, patience and yes more patience. And, well, because of testosterone, I would gather, although I did drop out of advanced Chemistry and was put back to regular Chemistry in high school, though my biggest problem was getting the darned bunson burner to stay lit, oh I guess I made some errors with that periodical table too, many males have the patience level of a vampire at the "prettiest neck" contest held at midnight at the Trump Towers casino. Seriously, males just are hands over hands more impatient. Heres where I have to insert the tag to some article done by Doctor Smorgasbord who proves with statistics that males are in fact more impatient. 8 to 1 males could not wait for the Heinz "anticipation" ketchup to pour over their hamburger and just shook the bottle furiously to get the gunk out, (I ll kill you, I ll kill you if you dont come out of that bottle onto my hamburger) and other studies done of that sort.
I think its the fault of testosterone.
I do strongly believe that men want to be better Fathers to their children and do in fact even want to stay at home with them more (more on that in another post I have up my sleeve), but they have to overcome more burdens than women do. Increasing their patience thresh hold is a major one.
Children, especially those 5 and under, have a completely different set of rules than adults. Well, they have no rules. They have no timetables, they personally dont have to be anywhere, they dont have to prove or settle anything. Its just the here and now and what do I want to do at this minute, this second. What is fun and amusing for me right now. And that, that is going to be a sticking point for Daddy.
When you stay home with your toddlers you have to adhere to the fourth P also, that is, well it could be more patience, but I think you got the picture and I ll stick to three patiences, Participation. You have to get down in the sandbox and dig the holes with them. You have to draw pictures with them and color in with them, and play monster and chase them and roll the ball to them until THEY dont want to, not you. And unless they hit on the one thing you really liked doing as a kid, Im partial to a good coloring book, after a couple minutes of whatever, you really would like to be doing something else. Eh eh. You have to stay with the program. You can handle it for a while, but if the program doesnt change you start to get hot under the collar. You start to get antsy. "Can we do something else?" Again, eh eh. Then you start to lose patience. Then you start to get angry. Then you want to run off to the kitchen to put some tea water on or something. Eh eh. You cant stop rolling the ball at this moment. You have to stick with participation. Look, dont you find those people who, you are talking to them and at some point they get up and do something else, even go to the kitchen to put on tea water, annoying? Doesnt it irritate you, even when your Mother does it and you know she loves you? You find them rude? And you want to do that to your kids? You really want to do that with the little munchkins who you really do love more than sliced bread and even Heath bars? Dont be rude, dont be arrogant with your kids. But the problem is, males, that testosterone is kicking in and you just have to jump up and do something different. Youve run out of patience.
I really think that is one, if not the tallest, hurdle that males have to overcome in being a 40% or more Daddy at home with their kids. It can be very dangerous to everyone involved also.
I dont want this to be a tutorial type blog, but I have to go into the three areas where you really have to keep your ship anchored and stay chilled or it can go very wrong and even nasty. I have three separate posts for that.
You ll have to excuse me at this moment though, I have to go buy this really cool, old skool coloring book I saw at an after Christmas sale. It had Monster Trucks and Gremlins to color in, a present for my daughter of course.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Intermission: An Inside Little Joke, Backfires
My wife says Im acting like a rock star. Its a little ego booster. Or rather a decent sized ego booster.
I love reading books to my kids before bedtime. I look forward to it. Goodnight Moon, to Dr. Seuss, I was just going to move to more advanced books. Its just that I got pushed out of my position. What can I do? If the kids ask for a book from Mommy, I cant fight it, the law has been set down. But for several months now, after the lights go out then its Daddy s turn. "Daddy, daddy", they call. Im just finishing reading an article in a financial magazine and have to finish. "You really are a rock star taking your time to get over there. Set that down, and go. They re calling you," scolds my wife.
My oldest daughter asks for a story, my younger daughter asks me to hold her hand. I may be a rock star, but I really have the hard part. I have exactly sixty seconds to think up a story from the title my daughter gives me. "I want `Popeye and the door` or I want `Popeye and the window`. For crying out, cant she pick something easier, like Popeye and the lion or Popeye and Bluto or Popeye and the dragon`. I could do those. She loves the Popeye cartoons at this time. Actually they arent really her favorites, but I ve been making up my own Popeye stories and she likes them. But she has the worst ideas. Tonight she wanted `Popeye and Hello Kitty`. Mmmm, I cant even begin to think of a plot for that one. And what, Popeye is going to eat his spinach and beat up Hello Kitty? I dont think so. uh, No.
I have a lot of Popeye originals under my belt by now. Popeye and Coffee Joe, Popeye and the chocolate bar, Popeye and Mr. Grapefruit Man (the fight is a draw because grapefruits are just as good as spinach), The Sea Hag kidnaps Olive Oil etc etc. About 15 I think. I wonder if I can go work for King Syndicate.
I know what you are going to say and you are wrong. Well, yes you are correct, Popeye is kind of violent and still not the best story material for a five year old. But you know what? I bought a collection of Grimm's fairy tales, 50 of them, hoping to read them to my daughter. All of them contain violence of some nature. This is a whole different story, but I couldnt imagine any of them not giving my daughter some form of nightmare. And these are for little kids? So far the only one I have told is `the fisherman and his wife` which I think is rather a good one because it warns against excess and becoming spoiled or hubris. Anyway, another time. But re check them out, they are downright vicious.
Somehow my daughter settled on `the 3 little pigs` as her favorite story for the past couple months and I have recited it upwards of 20 times or more. Its also violent with the wolf huffing and puffing and blowing down the house, but I add a little humor to that part to make it less so. I also started adding names to the pigs just to amuse myself. I gave them different names every night, like Iggley, Squiggley and Leon. Of course Leon built the house of bricks. Or rockem sockem and Robot. Finally I settled on the names of Larry Curly and Moe. And now those are the names of the three little pigs written in stone, every night. Naturally Curly is the pig who built his house out of hay, Larry built his house out of wood and Moe, he is the brick layer.
So two nights ago from this writing I started out the story of `Popeye and the 3 Little Pigs`. OK, the Mother pig tells her sons Larry Curly and Moe that they have to go out into the world and build their own homes. So after a big breakfast Larry, Curly and Moe pig set out on their journey. They walked all morning. By the time of lunch Curly pig wanted to stop and he was going to build his house here in the field. "You said, `LARRY, Curly and Moe, so it has to be Larry building his house out of straw," my daughter angrily interrupted.
"No, Larry builds his house out of wood, Curly builds his house from straw."
"No, you said Larry first so he is the first to build his house and out of straw"
"Well, I just said Larry, Curly and Moe, but naturally Curly is the youngest, laziest and stops first to build his house"
"No, Larry. The pig you say first is the pig that builds his house first and you said Larry first."
"I only said Larry first because that is how you say their names, but Curly is house out of hay builder"
"No no no, it has to be Larry. Larry"
She was quite angry by this time and on the verge of tears. How could I explain that Larry Curly and Moe just rolls off my tongue but it is so obvious that Curly is the hay builder. Isnt that correct? I tried to push my point one more time, but she just said "No no no, its Larry. Larry," and I heard the tears in her voice now in the dark of the sleeping room.
OK, I gave in. I was quiet for thirty seconds and then I heard her snoring, so the point was mute for tonight.
There is no way I am going to recite that story again. Phiff, Larry builds his house out of wood and Curly out of hay. That goes without saying. I wont do it any other way.
By the way, yes you heard right, the story was called Popeye and the Three pigs. I did create a new version of the Three Pigs with guest appearance of Popeye. If you want the story I can send it to you. But you have to send me the story of `Popeye and Hello Kitty` in exchange.
I love reading books to my kids before bedtime. I look forward to it. Goodnight Moon, to Dr. Seuss, I was just going to move to more advanced books. Its just that I got pushed out of my position. What can I do? If the kids ask for a book from Mommy, I cant fight it, the law has been set down. But for several months now, after the lights go out then its Daddy s turn. "Daddy, daddy", they call. Im just finishing reading an article in a financial magazine and have to finish. "You really are a rock star taking your time to get over there. Set that down, and go. They re calling you," scolds my wife.
My oldest daughter asks for a story, my younger daughter asks me to hold her hand. I may be a rock star, but I really have the hard part. I have exactly sixty seconds to think up a story from the title my daughter gives me. "I want `Popeye and the door` or I want `Popeye and the window`. For crying out, cant she pick something easier, like Popeye and the lion or Popeye and Bluto or Popeye and the dragon`. I could do those. She loves the Popeye cartoons at this time. Actually they arent really her favorites, but I ve been making up my own Popeye stories and she likes them. But she has the worst ideas. Tonight she wanted `Popeye and Hello Kitty`. Mmmm, I cant even begin to think of a plot for that one. And what, Popeye is going to eat his spinach and beat up Hello Kitty? I dont think so. uh, No.
I have a lot of Popeye originals under my belt by now. Popeye and Coffee Joe, Popeye and the chocolate bar, Popeye and Mr. Grapefruit Man (the fight is a draw because grapefruits are just as good as spinach), The Sea Hag kidnaps Olive Oil etc etc. About 15 I think. I wonder if I can go work for King Syndicate.
I know what you are going to say and you are wrong. Well, yes you are correct, Popeye is kind of violent and still not the best story material for a five year old. But you know what? I bought a collection of Grimm's fairy tales, 50 of them, hoping to read them to my daughter. All of them contain violence of some nature. This is a whole different story, but I couldnt imagine any of them not giving my daughter some form of nightmare. And these are for little kids? So far the only one I have told is `the fisherman and his wife` which I think is rather a good one because it warns against excess and becoming spoiled or hubris. Anyway, another time. But re check them out, they are downright vicious.
Somehow my daughter settled on `the 3 little pigs` as her favorite story for the past couple months and I have recited it upwards of 20 times or more. Its also violent with the wolf huffing and puffing and blowing down the house, but I add a little humor to that part to make it less so. I also started adding names to the pigs just to amuse myself. I gave them different names every night, like Iggley, Squiggley and Leon. Of course Leon built the house of bricks. Or rockem sockem and Robot. Finally I settled on the names of Larry Curly and Moe. And now those are the names of the three little pigs written in stone, every night. Naturally Curly is the pig who built his house out of hay, Larry built his house out of wood and Moe, he is the brick layer.
So two nights ago from this writing I started out the story of `Popeye and the 3 Little Pigs`. OK, the Mother pig tells her sons Larry Curly and Moe that they have to go out into the world and build their own homes. So after a big breakfast Larry, Curly and Moe pig set out on their journey. They walked all morning. By the time of lunch Curly pig wanted to stop and he was going to build his house here in the field. "You said, `LARRY, Curly and Moe, so it has to be Larry building his house out of straw," my daughter angrily interrupted.
"No, Larry builds his house out of wood, Curly builds his house from straw."
"No, you said Larry first so he is the first to build his house and out of straw"
"Well, I just said Larry, Curly and Moe, but naturally Curly is the youngest, laziest and stops first to build his house"
"No, Larry. The pig you say first is the pig that builds his house first and you said Larry first."
"I only said Larry first because that is how you say their names, but Curly is house out of hay builder"
"No no no, it has to be Larry. Larry"
She was quite angry by this time and on the verge of tears. How could I explain that Larry Curly and Moe just rolls off my tongue but it is so obvious that Curly is the hay builder. Isnt that correct? I tried to push my point one more time, but she just said "No no no, its Larry. Larry," and I heard the tears in her voice now in the dark of the sleeping room.
OK, I gave in. I was quiet for thirty seconds and then I heard her snoring, so the point was mute for tonight.
There is no way I am going to recite that story again. Phiff, Larry builds his house out of wood and Curly out of hay. That goes without saying. I wont do it any other way.
By the way, yes you heard right, the story was called Popeye and the Three pigs. I did create a new version of the Three Pigs with guest appearance of Popeye. If you want the story I can send it to you. But you have to send me the story of `Popeye and Hello Kitty` in exchange.
Monday, December 9, 2013
The toughest boss, the toughest job
One of my favorite comedians had a skit where he spoke about having a meeting with the grandson of Louis Mayer or some grandson of MGM, and getting YELLED at by that executive. I can imagine it must have been like getting yelled at by John D. Rockefeller or some REALLY big gun. The comedian went on to say, that once you've been yelled at from some big wig like that, everything else is easy. Not so.
You want tough boss? Listen.
2am, not yelling, but screaming. SCREAMING. I live in an apartment complex so I am sure someone is going to wake up and here my boss screaming at me. Uh, uh, I got the diaper changed under the little neon kitchen night light, now comes the hard part, getting the sleeper pajamas back on. Those legs are just flying all over the place, cant get them into the pajama legs. Got one. Just, stuff this one into the other side and,.... agh, the first leg came out. Get in there leg. Kick kick, kick, got me in the stomach. oof. Screaming murder. Any minute now for sure some neighbor is going to call the police on me. Whoops knocked a bottle of water off the counter.
Legs in. Button the jumper, just button the jumper, its easy.
Agh, come on, why is it those last buttons either on the leg or in the middle section just don't stay shut. No, I got the leg buttons shut, but the middle three, where the pajama curves from one leg to the other are impossible. erf, OK, got them. Oh, for crying out, they re misbuttoned. Kick kick kick. Oh, I gotta just leave that last button I cant get it. It wont reach or something or when the baby moves a bit it goes pop open again. Its always that last button which is the killer.
2.30am, if every person in the apartment hasn't been woken up its because God loves me. My friend the Deacon says God loves everybody. I'm wondering OK, but who does God love more right now? Me or this little tiny, wriggling thing I am trying to stuff like a turkey into this undersized jumper, stay closed button. I know the answer.
Phew, I got the boss back to bed, hit the crib and was out, like that. I'm awake now though. Adrenaline pumping. Might as well make a tea and write something.
Now that is the toughest boss I will ever have. Somebody else going to yell at me at work, ha, no problem. I can take it. Let the grandson of Louis B. Mayer yell at me, let the President of the United States call me up and give me Hell Harry, it will be like water on a duck. I can take it. But what I can not take and destroys me is messing up on those lousy last three buttons on the pajama jumper while the legs are kicking away and the screaming scares away Jack Nicholson (the Devil) himself. Ive done it several times and it never gets easier. No it doesn't.
Homer Simpson said it: phiff, who wants to be a Daddy? The wages are terrible, the hours are long and then all you get is, `Daddy, buy me that, Daddy buy me that, Daddy did you hear me? Buy it. Now. Or something like that.
You think you are the King of the castle at home? You think you are the Man of the house? Guess again fatso. Remember in the old days when the telephone solicitors would call and ask `May I please speak to the Man of the house? (We always laughed at that one)` If those solicitors still existed today I would say, "sure" and hand the phone to my two year old daughter. She is the true boss in the household and has been for over two years now. (Just don't let those solicitors sell you the insurance policy sweetie without reading the fine print)
You want tough boss? Listen.
2am, not yelling, but screaming. SCREAMING. I live in an apartment complex so I am sure someone is going to wake up and here my boss screaming at me. Uh, uh, I got the diaper changed under the little neon kitchen night light, now comes the hard part, getting the sleeper pajamas back on. Those legs are just flying all over the place, cant get them into the pajama legs. Got one. Just, stuff this one into the other side and,.... agh, the first leg came out. Get in there leg. Kick kick, kick, got me in the stomach. oof. Screaming murder. Any minute now for sure some neighbor is going to call the police on me. Whoops knocked a bottle of water off the counter.
Legs in. Button the jumper, just button the jumper, its easy.
Agh, come on, why is it those last buttons either on the leg or in the middle section just don't stay shut. No, I got the leg buttons shut, but the middle three, where the pajama curves from one leg to the other are impossible. erf, OK, got them. Oh, for crying out, they re misbuttoned. Kick kick kick. Oh, I gotta just leave that last button I cant get it. It wont reach or something or when the baby moves a bit it goes pop open again. Its always that last button which is the killer.
2.30am, if every person in the apartment hasn't been woken up its because God loves me. My friend the Deacon says God loves everybody. I'm wondering OK, but who does God love more right now? Me or this little tiny, wriggling thing I am trying to stuff like a turkey into this undersized jumper, stay closed button. I know the answer.
Phew, I got the boss back to bed, hit the crib and was out, like that. I'm awake now though. Adrenaline pumping. Might as well make a tea and write something.
Now that is the toughest boss I will ever have. Somebody else going to yell at me at work, ha, no problem. I can take it. Let the grandson of Louis B. Mayer yell at me, let the President of the United States call me up and give me Hell Harry, it will be like water on a duck. I can take it. But what I can not take and destroys me is messing up on those lousy last three buttons on the pajama jumper while the legs are kicking away and the screaming scares away Jack Nicholson (the Devil) himself. Ive done it several times and it never gets easier. No it doesn't.
Homer Simpson said it: phiff, who wants to be a Daddy? The wages are terrible, the hours are long and then all you get is, `Daddy, buy me that, Daddy buy me that, Daddy did you hear me? Buy it. Now. Or something like that.
You think you are the King of the castle at home? You think you are the Man of the house? Guess again fatso. Remember in the old days when the telephone solicitors would call and ask `May I please speak to the Man of the house? (We always laughed at that one)` If those solicitors still existed today I would say, "sure" and hand the phone to my two year old daughter. She is the true boss in the household and has been for over two years now. (Just don't let those solicitors sell you the insurance policy sweetie without reading the fine print)
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Intro
OK
Now I finally have to step up to the starting gate and... well, start. This is the intro Post.
At the time of this writing I have two girls age 2 and a bit and 5 and a bit. From the very beginning I had decided I was going to be an active Daddy. From the start I took time off from work to be at home and BE with my girl and then my girls. At some times it was full FULL time, seven days a week. Others, it dropped down to two days a week. But those are week days mind you, not the two weekend days. Although I dont want to disparage the evening Father or the weekend Father, I wanted to have long quantity time with my kids. At this point in time, the professors of pedagogue say that quantity is really the better choice over quality time. In other words it is best to spend hours with your young kids or babies rather than a few good minutes, even an hour or two is not enough. It was my intention to take part in all parts of child raising equally with my wife as best I could, biology excepted.
Let me state some reasons why I wanted to do this, from the small personal, up to the macro societal level.
1. Personally I wanted to be an integral part of my daughters life from the beginning. Although most people dont have memories before they are 3 or 2, they say that the bond is established between parent and child from the beginning, from birth. Excuse me if it sounds arrogant, but I wanted my touch, my sound and smell to be stamped on my babies brain equally with my wife`s. I didnt want to be second in the chain to Mommy.
2. I guess I am somewhat of a feminist, I want equality for women. But I guess I am a masculinist (is that the right word?) as I want equality for men also. I want women to be equal with men and men to be equal with women, biology excepted. If women should have the right to any jobs that were traditionally men's jobs, likewise, men should have the right to all the jobs that were traditionally thought of as "women`s work". If women¨s work was traditionally at home, but now she has been emancipated and goes to a job, well then lets emancipate the men and let them be at home to take care of the kids. Whats good for the goose....
3. This will be good for Society in general. You know, I really think men and women have to walk a mile in the others shoes. I must say, I do believe men will behave differently in situations due to the different chemicals going through their bodies, IE testosterone, too much "fight" and not enough "flight" and we have to put ourselves in the situations of the other gender. Seriously, if more men were at home taking care of their kids they would not be interested in going out to fight in some war, or to fight of any kind. I have to ask the question, if Assad of Syria had stayed at home taking care of his kids more would he really be fighting off tooth and nail "enemies of the State" now? No way. Because on first reports of children being killed by any side he would have said, "Whoa whoa, whoa, wait a minute, some small helpless toddlers and babies were killed? Oh, lets stop this nonsense and come to the table together". Call me a softy, but to see a tiny tiny baby, helpless, wriggling its little arms and legs around and only wanting some nourishment and then some sleep and even to see a small toddler smiling so happily just to have some small little toy, it would break your heart anytime later to personally see harm come to said baby or toddler, be it your own or whomever. Men's emancipation back to the home would definitely be a good thing for the world.
Let me say, I know I am not the first. In the USA it might even be a movement of men back to the home to take care of children. I was quite surprised how many "daddy" blogs there already are. As much as I really dont like jumping on the bandwagon or a trend, I had to add my voice and my experience to this "movement". Because if it is just a trend, there is a chance it will become passe or change or even disappear. It cannot disappear and it has to develop past being a subculture. For it to do that it takes a tipping point for it to be accepted by the mainstream and to be accepted as normal. Has that tipping point been reached yet? I dont think so. Thus I would like to add my voice and experience as we all try to tip this daddy bandwagon into the mainstream.
I call it Daddy 40 % or more to signify the least amount of WEEK days we should be home with the kids as fathers, two days. Home with them all day. You can then work a weekend day to make up, but only one. There should be one weekend day in which we, the whole family, are together too. That said, I dont want to alienate men who just cant do that. Their jobs are strict not at home day jobs Monday through Friday. IE men teachers, who are doing wonderful work by giving children someone to look up to in the school, just cant be at home for a weekday. Understandably. ON THE OTHER HAND, there are a lot of jobs where you could probably go in early on Friday, for example, and leave at noon and be with your kids for nearly the full day if they arent in school yet. Try it. I think the workaholism of the US and expanding throughout the world to the point of oneupmanship (oh well Im working 60 hours a week and have no time for anything) is not a good thing and should be reversed. C¨mon, our kids and all of our futures are at stake. You gotta stop and think why you are working so hard? Because you want enough money for good things for the family and your kids, Right? Well, wait a sec, if the good things are TIME with your kids which you are sacrificing by working too much, then you have defeated the purpose. But that is another tangent which I dont want to get on here right now.
Final points, the grammar and style errors are mine. I do a lot of writing, but I still have a lot of mistakes. Misunderstandings are my fault. I write in a certain style which if you dont understand it, then I should change it. I understand what I am saying, but if nobody else does, that's a mistake of mine. However, I was hoping that posts could be more like little stories with me as narrator, rather than perfect prose.
I really can not accept sexist behavior and comments. Nor any other such degradations of human beings. If you strongly disagree with my viewpoints you can voice your opinion, but in a polite, diplomatic fashion. If you hate what I am advocating, please start your own counter blog, and invite me onto your list. Yet, I am not perfect, most certainly not, if you see my writing as sexist please point it out.
And, for now my blog setup will be really boring and non existent. My friend said dont worry about that, it will get better over time. Better to start and learn as you go along instead of doing nothing. He also said no one is going to be reading this anyway. Ha ha, that's OK too. I wanted my voice to get out there. Maybe by the time I do get a couple readers I will have mastered creating a half way decent set up. I wish.
Thanks for your understanding.
Now I finally have to step up to the starting gate and... well, start. This is the intro Post.
At the time of this writing I have two girls age 2 and a bit and 5 and a bit. From the very beginning I had decided I was going to be an active Daddy. From the start I took time off from work to be at home and BE with my girl and then my girls. At some times it was full FULL time, seven days a week. Others, it dropped down to two days a week. But those are week days mind you, not the two weekend days. Although I dont want to disparage the evening Father or the weekend Father, I wanted to have long quantity time with my kids. At this point in time, the professors of pedagogue say that quantity is really the better choice over quality time. In other words it is best to spend hours with your young kids or babies rather than a few good minutes, even an hour or two is not enough. It was my intention to take part in all parts of child raising equally with my wife as best I could, biology excepted.
Let me state some reasons why I wanted to do this, from the small personal, up to the macro societal level.
1. Personally I wanted to be an integral part of my daughters life from the beginning. Although most people dont have memories before they are 3 or 2, they say that the bond is established between parent and child from the beginning, from birth. Excuse me if it sounds arrogant, but I wanted my touch, my sound and smell to be stamped on my babies brain equally with my wife`s. I didnt want to be second in the chain to Mommy.
2. I guess I am somewhat of a feminist, I want equality for women. But I guess I am a masculinist (is that the right word?) as I want equality for men also. I want women to be equal with men and men to be equal with women, biology excepted. If women should have the right to any jobs that were traditionally men's jobs, likewise, men should have the right to all the jobs that were traditionally thought of as "women`s work". If women¨s work was traditionally at home, but now she has been emancipated and goes to a job, well then lets emancipate the men and let them be at home to take care of the kids. Whats good for the goose....
3. This will be good for Society in general. You know, I really think men and women have to walk a mile in the others shoes. I must say, I do believe men will behave differently in situations due to the different chemicals going through their bodies, IE testosterone, too much "fight" and not enough "flight" and we have to put ourselves in the situations of the other gender. Seriously, if more men were at home taking care of their kids they would not be interested in going out to fight in some war, or to fight of any kind. I have to ask the question, if Assad of Syria had stayed at home taking care of his kids more would he really be fighting off tooth and nail "enemies of the State" now? No way. Because on first reports of children being killed by any side he would have said, "Whoa whoa, whoa, wait a minute, some small helpless toddlers and babies were killed? Oh, lets stop this nonsense and come to the table together". Call me a softy, but to see a tiny tiny baby, helpless, wriggling its little arms and legs around and only wanting some nourishment and then some sleep and even to see a small toddler smiling so happily just to have some small little toy, it would break your heart anytime later to personally see harm come to said baby or toddler, be it your own or whomever. Men's emancipation back to the home would definitely be a good thing for the world.
Let me say, I know I am not the first. In the USA it might even be a movement of men back to the home to take care of children. I was quite surprised how many "daddy" blogs there already are. As much as I really dont like jumping on the bandwagon or a trend, I had to add my voice and my experience to this "movement". Because if it is just a trend, there is a chance it will become passe or change or even disappear. It cannot disappear and it has to develop past being a subculture. For it to do that it takes a tipping point for it to be accepted by the mainstream and to be accepted as normal. Has that tipping point been reached yet? I dont think so. Thus I would like to add my voice and experience as we all try to tip this daddy bandwagon into the mainstream.
I call it Daddy 40 % or more to signify the least amount of WEEK days we should be home with the kids as fathers, two days. Home with them all day. You can then work a weekend day to make up, but only one. There should be one weekend day in which we, the whole family, are together too. That said, I dont want to alienate men who just cant do that. Their jobs are strict not at home day jobs Monday through Friday. IE men teachers, who are doing wonderful work by giving children someone to look up to in the school, just cant be at home for a weekday. Understandably. ON THE OTHER HAND, there are a lot of jobs where you could probably go in early on Friday, for example, and leave at noon and be with your kids for nearly the full day if they arent in school yet. Try it. I think the workaholism of the US and expanding throughout the world to the point of oneupmanship (oh well Im working 60 hours a week and have no time for anything) is not a good thing and should be reversed. C¨mon, our kids and all of our futures are at stake. You gotta stop and think why you are working so hard? Because you want enough money for good things for the family and your kids, Right? Well, wait a sec, if the good things are TIME with your kids which you are sacrificing by working too much, then you have defeated the purpose. But that is another tangent which I dont want to get on here right now.
Final points, the grammar and style errors are mine. I do a lot of writing, but I still have a lot of mistakes. Misunderstandings are my fault. I write in a certain style which if you dont understand it, then I should change it. I understand what I am saying, but if nobody else does, that's a mistake of mine. However, I was hoping that posts could be more like little stories with me as narrator, rather than perfect prose.
I really can not accept sexist behavior and comments. Nor any other such degradations of human beings. If you strongly disagree with my viewpoints you can voice your opinion, but in a polite, diplomatic fashion. If you hate what I am advocating, please start your own counter blog, and invite me onto your list. Yet, I am not perfect, most certainly not, if you see my writing as sexist please point it out.
And, for now my blog setup will be really boring and non existent. My friend said dont worry about that, it will get better over time. Better to start and learn as you go along instead of doing nothing. He also said no one is going to be reading this anyway. Ha ha, that's OK too. I wanted my voice to get out there. Maybe by the time I do get a couple readers I will have mastered creating a half way decent set up. I wish.
Thanks for your understanding.
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