The Generation Gap: Is it possible to not exist?

 When I was growing up there was a serious generation gap between me and my parents.  There were many years between us and a giant cultural shifting decades which changed society so much as to produce more gap.  Sadly my older brother experienced more of that gap than I did.  I was ok with my parents.  But I have to use the example of music to show the differences as that is one of the biggest things in my life, and my whole life.  

The funny thing is that our whole family was very into music and musically orientated.  We all played instruments and my brother eventually became a sound engineer touring with bands.  I sell music.  My parents played music but only as amateurs, but it was a huge part of their life with Monday orchestra and Thursday quartets.  

The problem still existed that there was a yawning gap between what my parents listened to and myself.  Paul Hindemith is still very different from the Beatles and Jethro Tull.  Although Jethro Tull is closer to Duke Ellington which is what my mother also loved.  

I thought I would please my parents one day when I brought home new albums from Muddy Waters. I thought it was closer to what they listened to.  But.... no. Only "thats nice honey" from my mother. Yeah.

 

It only got worse as I got into punk, the Clash and Hardcore and then alternative and some metal.  You would think that my father would get it as Paul Hindemith was a real alternative musician.  But no, the overall structure and voices (orchestral instruments vs rock n roll guitar and bass and drums) was just too great.  Sadly my father was not such a great music lover to explore new stuff which was coming out. Just like most people I think his musical tastes had peaked and stopped by the time he was 30.  After that he probably just stuck with what he knew.  Ok.   Probably my mother also.  But she at least knew jazz.  But that too stopped at some point it seems. 

Me, I always needed to explore new music and my interest directed me to new scenes and styles.  Way past my 30th birthday I was getting into new trends and sounds.  So I didnt stagnate and stick with what I knew, I was able to understand and love repetitive music like techno and drum and bass.  I guess it is my job but I think even people who are in the music business tend to go back to what they know.  

Comes my daughter and I say to myself, "there will not be a generation gap."  I can listen to new music whatever it may be.  Throw it at me.  

She is currently very big into hip hop, now often called trap.  Ok, what are you listening to?  Play some stuff.  Ok, here is Von something.  A guy from the bad side of Chicago, block 63 calling hinself the king of block 63.  He was killed.  Playboy something or other, from .......  .  It was gangster hip hop.  Oh man, i just cant get into gangster hip hop anymore.  Straight outta Compton was the last and peak for me.  I just couldnt take the violence and nastiness. I am more peaceful.  so much misogynism.  I dont want to listen to that stuff.  I asked her wasnt there anybody like Chuck D or Public Enemy or BDP that said something of value?  She  seemed to say there was, but she didnt listen to it.  That was old.  She didnt know who Public Enemy were.  

And then that rich dude.  How did he happen to become a billionaire?  With hip hop.  His beats sucked and his text was nothing.  Oh, yeah he made it with a clothes line and marrying a Kardashian.  At the time of this writing he is only a hundreds millionaire and I hope it goes down to a meagre millionaire.  Him and his mouth doesnt deserve millions let alone billions.  

I settled on Kendrick Lemar.  He was ok.  Kind of poppy but ok. I wouldnt buy his stuff, and I am not sure I really even want to listen to it, but I could and probably will as my daughter cried when she

couldnt go to the concert (uh huh, i was going to pay 100 dollars for a ticket?? sheesh, back in the day a concert cost.... well, ok there is some sort of big difference between concert ticket costs also).

The point being EVEN when the cultural gap does not really exist (there are no big movements in music separating us) and I listened to hip hop back in the day and she listened to... trap now.  Its still there.  The generation gap is still there.  Cypress Hill and Flavor Flav, she doesnt want to know who they are.   King Von and Playboi.... mm, I cant take gangster hh anymore.  And all the others seem empty too.   

What is it?  Is it as my friend said, "we teach what we know" or as Genesis said, "I like what I know and I know what I like."  ?    The twain shall not meet? Even when we are just about on the same plain? That gap just opens its mouth and stretches between parents and kids?  

Now, I have written just about music, as an example, but the generation gap probably exists in many other areas.  Do you parents experience this too?  Is it possible for the generation gap to not exist? Only when the Simpsons cartoon serial has existed for 30 years and I watched the old episodes and can watch the new episodes and my kids can watch all episodes are we totally on the same page.  Maybe.

Otherwise.... there it is.  Too big to jump over.  Separating us.  

Daddy back to Zero (well maybe 5-10)

The travel back was rather not as nice.  It is depressing and long.  This is a double meaning for my trip with my daughters back to our winter home and my travel back to not being a full time Dad.  Both are depressing. I guess a lot of males are not meant to be, are not good at being fathers.  Many are not good at being husbands even.  I have wanted to be both for better or worse.  I always try my best.  But you know, even if you are a huge poet star, like for instance Bob Dylan, you have your low periods. Very low.  Same for this wanna be dad and husband. 

  I dont recall my reasoning now, but 5 hours waiting at JFK airport was rather difficult.  All I know is there were metrics making me book that way.   

At any rate, I could feel my numbers flying down the drain, or staying on the old

land as I flew off overseas once again.  As I surely mentioned at the beginning of these travels, I like to have this time with my daughters and do it myself and plan it my way mostly, or not plan it at all. 

There was one part of the trip where the plane shook for over half an hour VERY violently.  I held on to the arms of the seat and repeatedly said "oh Jesus".  My daughters kind of laughed at me.  But I have no trouble saying I was terrified.  When we landed I asked the pilot about it and he said with a smile on his face that at that spot it was very difficult finding a level in which the plane would not be rocking.  It was as if he had no trouble with it.  I dont know why, but I felt my credibility get stabbed with a leak and my air went out.   Maybe being a dad is holding still, not panicking and being a pillar, and not a pillar of salt.  I was not. 

My fatherly position developed a leak and then was flatted like a tire.  

Mommy took back over her position and my position again became secondary. 

Well, we have it set up like this but in fact Mommy took both my daughters on her little vacation and I was left to work steady with no stopping.  We have always done that, it is given, its ok.  But... its not ok.  

My Daddy at home at least 40 per cent shrank to, well to zero I guess.  I was taking care of nobody except my self and my business.  My daughters were gone to Denmark or to the woods in central Europe and I was left to take care of tourists and to provide them with excellent music of their choice.  Yes, I do that and I am happy with that.  But... I would like it both ways.  

For the next three months my business came first and my family.. well sometimes first and sometimes second admittedly.   My daugthers went back to school in September. My younger daughter entered a new school.  My older daughter continued in the same school hopefully learning even more.  And I worked hard at a turnaround in a very difficult work environment and a big challenge.  

Its times like these that I refer back to my writing on Owl in "upstairs and downstairs" where Owl is upstairs and he wonders what is happening downstairs so he runs downstairs but then wonders what is happening upstairs.  Etc.  

On the other hand, I had a month of 100 per cent, now I have, well, three months at close to zero.  Maybe it evens out.  Maybe it is meant to be like that.   

Those couple Sundays that I played ping pong in the park with my younger daughter were very enjoyable.  And I think I went to a movie once with my older daughter, though that might have been last spring already.  The whole family went to see Thor "love and ...." whatever that one was, in the movie theatre.  That was also nice.  So its not like I am that father in that Cat Stevens song, "cats in the cradle", i am home and I see my kids every day for several hours and sometimes we get out.  

Still, the 100 per cent of summer is much nicer than the 10 per cent of Fall.  Bob Dylan still put out albums when he was at 10 per cent.    

I didnt listent to any music while writing this but my older daughter was playing

me a lot of new school gangster hip hop.  King Von, Playboy Cardi, something nindo or other.  And of course Kamal Lemar? no  Lemar Kendricks?  No, Kemal Hendrix?  Sorry Kendrick Lemar.  Another story on this sometime soon.  

Thanks for reading and I apologize if it is not the best writing this time or anytime.  Still, I hope you get something out of it.  But mainly I am writing for myself.  But thanks for reading all the same. If you did take something from it to use in your own writing, could I ask you politely to consider naming me in the quote or even footnoting me?  Many thanks.   

I was listening to this album while rewriting. I didnt like it so much. But maybe more listens are necessary. I just got for sale "time out of mind" "freewheeling" "shot of love" so I feel I can put up an album I have not bought yet.  Still, I think it is not one of his best, but I dont like back up women singers, so maybe that is my thing.