I was quite sad as I was walking away. I had brought my older daughter to school. She hadn't given me a goodbye kiss because I had yelled at her. Fair enough. I wouldn`t give me a kiss either if I had yelled at me.
As happens to many son in laws, they have a run in, even a couple, even more than many, with their mother in laws. Well of course. I m not so good. Her little girl could have done a lot better as far as a husband goes. (I wonder if I will feel the same when that time comes for my girl to join hands with some one else. Probably). Anyway. And I am dirty. I once lay down on the bed with my jeans on after I had been outside. Crime! And just recently she yelled at me for putting my shoes on while I sat on the floor. On the dirty floor. I didn't think it was so dirty. Why didn't I sit on the chair there? I really don't know. I sat on the floor. It was disgusting for her. Was it really so disgusting? I didn`t really see it that way.
The reason I had yelled at my daughter was because she had sneezed and then had blown her nose on her sleeve. eayu. "That's disgusting," I said. "Not only is it disgusting, but its unhygienic. It will stay on your sleeve. Not healthy". She ran off to her class without kissing me.
Then I was walking my other daughter to her pre school and suddenly stopped... oh boy, I am a silly goat. I guess you saw it coming before I did, but of course I was being contradictory. I thought it was disgusting when my daughter sneezed and wiped her nose with her sweater sleeve, but thought my mother in law was a bit batty that she thought I was disgusting sitting on the floor to put on my shoes. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I get it.
The problem is, I still won`t let my daughter blow her nose into her sleeve. Isn't that disgusting of her to do that? But I don't see anything wrong with sitting on the floor. So I'm in a conundrum of contradictions. You can help me out of this. I cant solve it.
Some other exact cases where we yell at our children but then later in the day we do the same thing.
1. Not allowed to eat food outside the kitchen. I yell at my youngest daughter mercilessly for doing this. "Look," I say, "Who has to clean up your crumbs and they get all over." Well she really is too small to clean with the brush yet. But then in the evening after they have gone to bed, mm, I have occasionally eaten a bread with honey in my bed. Well, you know. I won`t let the crumbs get all over. I will eat over the plate. I will be responsible in the droppage of the crumb factor. Besides I will have to clean it up myself.
2. "Don't lick the ketchup bottle around the lid." You leave your germs there and again its unhygienic and may get other people sick if you have germs. Yeah, well in the evening after they are asleep if I pour the ketchup I will lick off the leftover stuff around the lid. Admittedly, I don't know why I do this. I really don't.
3. Drinking milk from the bottle. I have to yell at both the girls for doing this. You will leave your germs in the bottle and they will get into other peoples drink. Later in the evening... you guessed it. I take one or two gulps direct from the milk or juice bottle. Yes, but, its such a waste to get out another glass and pour it and then have to wash the glass. I just want two gulps of milk and I will put it back. I don't see why I have to go through all the trouble of, eh finding a glass, pouring, ugh and then wasting water cleaning the glass after just for two sips of milk. Besides I never do it when I am sick. I never see my germs in the milk. I wouldn't do such a thing as leave my germs there, if I even had any. I know I don't.
Still, I should really practice what I preach. I guess I should try to be better. Be a better parent. Yes, I will! From now on I will make a concerted effort to not be hypocritical. Well at least with numbers 1-3. There is no way I am going to give in to my mother-in-law and sit on the stool to put on my shoes. No way.
Pictures coming some time.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Easter Sweets
A week before Easter, Friday evening, I munched on a cookie that was sitting on the kitchen counter. My wife had bought it from the Hare Krishna's and it was a good, healthy, bio cookie. A bit hard, but quite good. Any sweet stuff left out in the kitchen after dinner time automatically is claimed by Daddy. Rule of the house. Well, unless someone tells me "Daddy this is mine. Don't eat it!" Then I leave it alone. My wife watched me eat it and said nothing after the first bites, so I polished it off. My cookie.
The next day was Saturday and we had a big outing with my older girls class to a technical museum which had a big science exhibition for kids. Maybe that belongs to another post sometime because it was wonderful. But all I will say now is that I spent the whole Saturday with them, including two bus rides there and back. Over an hour long trip to another city. The point being that I was with my kids all day continuously. And we had a great day.
So, why did my older daughter choose our walk back home to our apartment from the bus to suddenly ask me, "Daddy, did you eat my cookie?" "And well, I uh, well, you know, well, that was your cookie? It was sitting there. Mommy watched me eating it. She didn't say anything. I didn't know but..." That was that. For the rest of the walk home she was crying hard that I had eaten her cookie and I had to get her another cookie. Right now?! But it is Saturday, the Hare Krishna's are sleeping, I couldn't get a cookie then. More crying.
What,, wut? Well, it HAD been a nice day. Why in the name of the God of cookies did she wait all day after a lovely day to start crying over me eating her cookie? Was she thinking about that cookie all day long and waited until she couldn't take it any more to ask me about it? Or maybe she was waiting for the end of all the fun and the sad walk home to pin me down? I ll ask her in a year after she won`t cry about me eating her cookie. I won`t do THAT again. I promise.
Foward one week. Twas the night before Easter and my wife's Mother had given the kids two bags of chocolate eggs. You know those cheap, junky chocolates which are more sugar than chocolate. Very unhealthy and something to die for any time of year. Stuffed with caramel or white chocolate. Then those stupid chocolate hollow bunnies which for some reason are very fun to eat, but don't taste as good. But hey, chocolate.
My youngest daughter stood in front of me before bedtime and said quite solemnly, "Daddy those Easter chocolates, don't eat them!" I looked at her. I stared at her. I peered through her eyes to her very soul. Here was my youngest daughter asking me quite seriously, but politely not to eat the chocolates. I would venture close to death to save either of my daughters, they mean that much to me.
But...
Promise broken.
Before Easter came the next morning, the chocolate was gone.
Ain't nothing going to stand between me and Easter egg and bunny chocolate. Not even my daughters who I would die for.
Well, there were other things to eat as you can see from the following pictures.
The next day was Saturday and we had a big outing with my older girls class to a technical museum which had a big science exhibition for kids. Maybe that belongs to another post sometime because it was wonderful. But all I will say now is that I spent the whole Saturday with them, including two bus rides there and back. Over an hour long trip to another city. The point being that I was with my kids all day continuously. And we had a great day.
So, why did my older daughter choose our walk back home to our apartment from the bus to suddenly ask me, "Daddy, did you eat my cookie?" "And well, I uh, well, you know, well, that was your cookie? It was sitting there. Mommy watched me eating it. She didn't say anything. I didn't know but..." That was that. For the rest of the walk home she was crying hard that I had eaten her cookie and I had to get her another cookie. Right now?! But it is Saturday, the Hare Krishna's are sleeping, I couldn't get a cookie then. More crying.
What,, wut? Well, it HAD been a nice day. Why in the name of the God of cookies did she wait all day after a lovely day to start crying over me eating her cookie? Was she thinking about that cookie all day long and waited until she couldn't take it any more to ask me about it? Or maybe she was waiting for the end of all the fun and the sad walk home to pin me down? I ll ask her in a year after she won`t cry about me eating her cookie. I won`t do THAT again. I promise.
Foward one week. Twas the night before Easter and my wife's Mother had given the kids two bags of chocolate eggs. You know those cheap, junky chocolates which are more sugar than chocolate. Very unhealthy and something to die for any time of year. Stuffed with caramel or white chocolate. Then those stupid chocolate hollow bunnies which for some reason are very fun to eat, but don't taste as good. But hey, chocolate.
My youngest daughter stood in front of me before bedtime and said quite solemnly, "Daddy those Easter chocolates, don't eat them!" I looked at her. I stared at her. I peered through her eyes to her very soul. Here was my youngest daughter asking me quite seriously, but politely not to eat the chocolates. I would venture close to death to save either of my daughters, they mean that much to me.
But...
Promise broken.
Before Easter came the next morning, the chocolate was gone.
Ain't nothing going to stand between me and Easter egg and bunny chocolate. Not even my daughters who I would die for.
Well, there were other things to eat as you can see from the following pictures.
 | |
| Post Easter still life |
 | |
| Traditional Easter fish |
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Have you thanked your Mom (or Dad) for changing your nappies recently? Kim Cattrall says you havent
I had to take time out from my busy Easter vacation schedule to write a little comment about this article I found on my face book site or somewheres like that. Ms. Kim Cattrall, former star of HBO series "Sex in the City" sounded off about menopause, not having kids, among other things. A short little interview was typed up. Here below written out on purpose is the link to the article.
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/news/kim-cattrall-sex-starts-in-brain-31102777.html
I hope Im not breaking any copy right laws by having this link up, but scream if I am. Probably.
My post is more a little rant than a story, so if you don't like that sort of thing, skip it.
Look, Ms. Cattrall, I really have no problem with you not having kids. I'm on your side. We really don't need more unwanted population. We don't need adults becoming parents if they don't want to. That may have been true in the past, but I think the survival of the species is "safe" now. In fact I think the more we populate, the more chance we have of NOT surviving, along with everything else around us not survinving. So give the extra money to charities, no backlash from me on that one. More power to you.
However, I just wish you and so many others would give me and so many other Fathers the same respect when we want to stay home with our kids as caregivers, as Fathers, even to the point of foregoing income to do so. I don't think that same respect is happening. It puzzles me, "that the young people" Ms. Cattrall knows, can relate to her because she has lived a different life from their parents, but these same young people can`t relate to the fathers who are staying home to love their children more than other generations and.. more than their parents did. Why should "young people" relate to one form of empowerment and not another? Even though in fact Fathers who stay at home to take care of the kids while the wife goes to work is empowering BOTH men and women. By pushing the statistic of women as breadwinners up, it helps all. And by proving that men can do what is thought of as a (traditional) woman`s job, it empowers men. Its progress for all.
And why is it that when a woman "breaks the glass ceiling" and does a traditional man`s job everyone cheers. But when a man does a traditional "woman`s job" everyone sort of moves away from him and whispers in the corners about him and there is quiet. I guess he is breaking the glass floor? What are people going to think when Hillary Clinton wins the presidency and Bill Clinton becomes the "first first man". Oh boy, lets brace ourselves for the (bad) jokes. "How are you going to decorate the White House Bill?" Just a question running through my head.
Then it is stated, "The star (Cattrall) believes women without kids are no less maternal than mothers."
I respectfully, but strongly disagree with you there Ms. Cattrall. That just is not true. I probably won`t be able to back it up with any scientific proof, but I don't think Ms. Cattrall can either. Sorry, but no matter how many nephews and nieces you have held or baby sat for, no matter how many kindergartens or kids activities you have visited or participated in, its not the same. When you have flesh and blood that came out of your very own DNA, that you helped put together in front of you... It can drive the man in jail to become straight and responsible. It can drive the drug addicted to clean up and do everything possible to make sure this child, THEIR child gets a much better upbringing than they had. I wouldn't be surprised if it drove many of the men out there currently staying home to care for their children to do just that in the first place. Because they were moved to do so. Paternal instinct. And you don`t have that until that little ball of pinky flesh and blood which is yours, is being cradled in your arms. So says Max!
I would give Ms. Cattrall the right of reply to understand better how she can say this, but I have a feeling after her reply I would still say, nope, not the same.
Lastly, I object to her statement: “But listen: I don’t know a kid who thanks their parents for the nappies they changed." Well, sometimes you have to wait for it. True, teenagers don't usually thank their parents for anything. Even Twenty year olds are caught up in themselves and their careers and don't think about how they got there, unless it is to complain about it. But you know when in fact it does come Ms. Cattrall? When we become parents ourselves. Then all the pains and the gains that your parents went through on your account come into focus. Then the memories come back and we think about how our parents did it and its an epiphany. Then you start to understand and you see the love and the gratitude and sacrifice. True we see the bad things too. New parents will just as likely say, "I don't want to do what my parents did" and we want to be better parents. That's not bad, that is normal. I fully expect my children to do that too, though I am a pretty good Dad. But If your father was never around, off in another country supporting the family with a better paying job there, maybe you will say, I will NOT do that. But we as adult children of parents see much clearer. We understand why. And then... we call up Mom and Dad and quite often we say, "thank you".
But its true, we probably don't thank them for changing our diapers, she has a fine point there still. But what she fails to follow through on is that if they didn't change our diapers they would have become so full that it would have not been hygienic and we would have died and a) our parents would have gone to jail and that would have been counter productive and b) we wouldn't be around today to thank them. GOTCHA Ms. Cattrall. They actually had to change our diapers in order to save themselves Ms. Cattrall.
All the same, I think I will thank my Mom for changing my diapers next time she calls. Although I am prepared for her to call me idiot for saying so, because what was she going to do?
(Published, but pictures will be forth coming still)
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/news/kim-cattrall-sex-starts-in-brain-31102777.html
I hope Im not breaking any copy right laws by having this link up, but scream if I am. Probably.
My post is more a little rant than a story, so if you don't like that sort of thing, skip it.
Look, Ms. Cattrall, I really have no problem with you not having kids. I'm on your side. We really don't need more unwanted population. We don't need adults becoming parents if they don't want to. That may have been true in the past, but I think the survival of the species is "safe" now. In fact I think the more we populate, the more chance we have of NOT surviving, along with everything else around us not survinving. So give the extra money to charities, no backlash from me on that one. More power to you.
However, I just wish you and so many others would give me and so many other Fathers the same respect when we want to stay home with our kids as caregivers, as Fathers, even to the point of foregoing income to do so. I don't think that same respect is happening. It puzzles me, "that the young people" Ms. Cattrall knows, can relate to her because she has lived a different life from their parents, but these same young people can`t relate to the fathers who are staying home to love their children more than other generations and.. more than their parents did. Why should "young people" relate to one form of empowerment and not another? Even though in fact Fathers who stay at home to take care of the kids while the wife goes to work is empowering BOTH men and women. By pushing the statistic of women as breadwinners up, it helps all. And by proving that men can do what is thought of as a (traditional) woman`s job, it empowers men. Its progress for all.
And why is it that when a woman "breaks the glass ceiling" and does a traditional man`s job everyone cheers. But when a man does a traditional "woman`s job" everyone sort of moves away from him and whispers in the corners about him and there is quiet. I guess he is breaking the glass floor? What are people going to think when Hillary Clinton wins the presidency and Bill Clinton becomes the "first first man". Oh boy, lets brace ourselves for the (bad) jokes. "How are you going to decorate the White House Bill?" Just a question running through my head.
Then it is stated, "The star (Cattrall) believes women without kids are no less maternal than mothers."
I respectfully, but strongly disagree with you there Ms. Cattrall. That just is not true. I probably won`t be able to back it up with any scientific proof, but I don't think Ms. Cattrall can either. Sorry, but no matter how many nephews and nieces you have held or baby sat for, no matter how many kindergartens or kids activities you have visited or participated in, its not the same. When you have flesh and blood that came out of your very own DNA, that you helped put together in front of you... It can drive the man in jail to become straight and responsible. It can drive the drug addicted to clean up and do everything possible to make sure this child, THEIR child gets a much better upbringing than they had. I wouldn't be surprised if it drove many of the men out there currently staying home to care for their children to do just that in the first place. Because they were moved to do so. Paternal instinct. And you don`t have that until that little ball of pinky flesh and blood which is yours, is being cradled in your arms. So says Max!
I would give Ms. Cattrall the right of reply to understand better how she can say this, but I have a feeling after her reply I would still say, nope, not the same.
Lastly, I object to her statement: “But listen: I don’t know a kid who thanks their parents for the nappies they changed." Well, sometimes you have to wait for it. True, teenagers don't usually thank their parents for anything. Even Twenty year olds are caught up in themselves and their careers and don't think about how they got there, unless it is to complain about it. But you know when in fact it does come Ms. Cattrall? When we become parents ourselves. Then all the pains and the gains that your parents went through on your account come into focus. Then the memories come back and we think about how our parents did it and its an epiphany. Then you start to understand and you see the love and the gratitude and sacrifice. True we see the bad things too. New parents will just as likely say, "I don't want to do what my parents did" and we want to be better parents. That's not bad, that is normal. I fully expect my children to do that too, though I am a pretty good Dad. But If your father was never around, off in another country supporting the family with a better paying job there, maybe you will say, I will NOT do that. But we as adult children of parents see much clearer. We understand why. And then... we call up Mom and Dad and quite often we say, "thank you".
But its true, we probably don't thank them for changing our diapers, she has a fine point there still. But what she fails to follow through on is that if they didn't change our diapers they would have become so full that it would have not been hygienic and we would have died and a) our parents would have gone to jail and that would have been counter productive and b) we wouldn't be around today to thank them. GOTCHA Ms. Cattrall. They actually had to change our diapers in order to save themselves Ms. Cattrall.
All the same, I think I will thank my Mom for changing my diapers next time she calls. Although I am prepared for her to call me idiot for saying so, because what was she going to do?
(Published, but pictures will be forth coming still)
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