I had to take time out from my busy Easter vacation schedule to write a little comment about this article I found on my face book site or somewheres like that. Ms. Kim Cattrall, former star of HBO series "Sex in the City" sounded off about menopause, not having kids, among other things. A short little interview was typed up. Here below written out on purpose is the link to the article.
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/entertainment/news/kim-cattrall-sex-starts-in-brain-31102777.html
I hope Im not breaking any copy right laws by having this link up, but scream if I am. Probably.
My post is more a little rant than a story, so if you don't like that sort of thing, skip it.
Look, Ms. Cattrall, I really have no problem with you not having kids. I'm on your side. We really don't need more unwanted population. We don't need adults becoming parents if they don't want to. That may have been true in the past, but I think the survival of the species is "safe" now. In fact I think the more we populate, the more chance we have of NOT surviving, along with everything else around us not survinving. So give the extra money to charities, no backlash from me on that one. More power to you.
However, I just wish you and so many others would give me and so many other Fathers the same respect when we want to stay home with our kids as caregivers, as Fathers, even to the point of foregoing income to do so. I don't think that same respect is happening. It puzzles me, "that the young people" Ms. Cattrall knows, can relate to her because she has lived a different life from their parents, but these same young people can`t relate to the fathers who are staying home to love their children more than other generations and.. more than their parents did. Why should "young people" relate to one form of empowerment and not another? Even though in fact Fathers who stay at home to take care of the kids while the wife goes to work is empowering BOTH men and women. By pushing the statistic of women as breadwinners up, it helps all. And by proving that men can do what is thought of as a (traditional) woman`s job, it empowers men. Its progress for all.
And why is it that when a woman "breaks the glass ceiling" and does a traditional man`s job everyone cheers. But when a man does a traditional "woman`s job" everyone sort of moves away from him and whispers in the corners about him and there is quiet. I guess he is breaking the glass floor? What are people going to think when Hillary Clinton wins the presidency and Bill Clinton becomes the "first first man". Oh boy, lets brace ourselves for the (bad) jokes. "How are you going to decorate the White House Bill?" Just a question running through my head.
Then it is stated, "The star (Cattrall) believes women without kids are no less maternal than mothers."
I respectfully, but strongly disagree with you there Ms. Cattrall. That just is not true. I probably won`t be able to back it up with any scientific proof, but I don't think Ms. Cattrall can either. Sorry, but no matter how many nephews and nieces you have held or baby sat for, no matter how many kindergartens or kids activities you have visited or participated in, its not the same. When you have flesh and blood that came out of your very own DNA, that you helped put together in front of you... It can drive the man in jail to become straight and responsible. It can drive the drug addicted to clean up and do everything possible to make sure this child, THEIR child gets a much better upbringing than they had. I wouldn't be surprised if it drove many of the men out there currently staying home to care for their children to do just that in the first place. Because they were moved to do so. Paternal instinct. And you don`t have that until that little ball of pinky flesh and blood which is yours, is being cradled in your arms. So says Max!
I would give Ms. Cattrall the right of reply to understand better how she can say this, but I have a feeling after her reply I would still say, nope, not the same.
Lastly, I object to her statement: “But listen: I don’t know a kid who thanks their parents for the nappies they changed." Well, sometimes you have to wait for it. True, teenagers don't usually thank their parents for anything. Even Twenty year olds are caught up in themselves and their careers and don't think about how they got there, unless it is to complain about it. But you know when in fact it does come Ms. Cattrall? When we become parents ourselves. Then all the pains and the gains that your parents went through on your account come into focus. Then the memories come back and we think about how our parents did it and its an epiphany. Then you start to understand and you see the love and the gratitude and sacrifice. True we see the bad things too. New parents will just as likely say, "I don't want to do what my parents did" and we want to be better parents. That's not bad, that is normal. I fully expect my children to do that too, though I am a pretty good Dad. But If your father was never around, off in another country supporting the family with a better paying job there, maybe you will say, I will NOT do that. But we as adult children of parents see much clearer. We understand why. And then... we call up Mom and Dad and quite often we say, "thank you".
But its true, we probably don't thank them for changing our diapers, she has a fine point there still. But what she fails to follow through on is that if they didn't change our diapers they would have become so full that it would have not been hygienic and we would have died and a) our parents would have gone to jail and that would have been counter productive and b) we wouldn't be around today to thank them. GOTCHA Ms. Cattrall. They actually had to change our diapers in order to save themselves Ms. Cattrall.
All the same, I think I will thank my Mom for changing my diapers next time she calls. Although I am prepared for her to call me idiot for saying so, because what was she going to do?
(Published, but pictures will be forth coming still)
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