Sunday, December 13, 2015

Christmas Time Constructions

I don't understand why more Fathers don't take up Dadding and doing artistic activities with their children, especially around Christmas time.  I'm talking to you Dads, who like to putz around in the garage or the basement workshop putting things together or taking them apart.  It is such a thin barrier between the activities of kids and repairing your John Deere lawnmower.  Believe me it is.

Let me get straight to the point and the comparison.

The other day, my Mother was telling me about two couples she had over for dinner.  The men got along with each other, hit it off quite well because they are both handymen who like to fix things around the house and in the yard.  So for an hour they were talking about taking off certain doors and what number screw you need for that part and that part and how to put the door back on so it can`t be hijacked and is secure.  What fasteners are the best for securing it etc etc...

All they have to do is transfer that knowledge to making devils and angels and the Three Kings and Santy Clause.  Screwing in little toothpicks and securing noses, tongues and fake hair onto plastic bottles and containers.  I feel the two sets of knowledge are quite similar.    Why Fathers with the ability to build stuff do not volunteer more for running arts and crafts sessions in their children's` pre school is.... well apples and apples to me.  They should.

Here pictured are two little devils constructed in pre school.   Tell me those couldn't have been put together in Father`s workshop in the basement or out in the garage.  


Why those two men at my Mother`s dinner couldn't just as well have been talking together something like this:  "Well, the tongue is the tricky part, because its going to not stick.  Its going to come off.  You need the strong number 10 Elmer's to get that thing staying on there or else just forget it."   "Yeah, yeah, I hear what you are saying, but you are just going to have to use number 4 screws on the eyes.  Those are just the same Radio Shack made for putting together transistors when they were still around.  You can`t glue the eyes. "  "Right about that.  Oh, and save those pipe cleaner pieces, they do add a good effect in the hair."  etc etc.

I on the other hand,  don't have a garage or a basement and limited room in the house for bits and pieces and my Mother in law wouldn't allow any junk of mine at her place.  The truth of the matter is  that arts and crafts and I are NOT two great tastes that go great together.  In fact, arts and crafts and I are like a chainsaw getting together with the Texas Chainsaw Murderer.  If we come together it is not a pretty sight. It is downright dangerous.   Stuff flying around, body parts, blood and pieces of skin are all possible. (Note:  The Texas Chainsaw Murderer was actually based on the murders of Ed Gein who lived in the state of Wisconsin and didn't use a chainsaw)

So last Sunday from this writing when my wife said I had to help our youngest girl decorate their wall with Christmas tape I ran away and hid under the bed like a dog during a thunderstorm.  They had to use magnets and ropes and the works to pull me out from under the bed.  But I was given an ultimatum and said that my wife worked on it the day before and now it was my turn.  

Well, although I am a "wing it" type of guy, I thought it best to draw a plan of the picture we would make, first.  We were going to tape up, wait, ... a snowflake.  Or three.   Here is the plan if you can see it.  

Next, I wasn`t doing it right according to my daughter and she yelled for Mom to come and tell me to do it correctly.  She was rather angry at how I was putting the tape down.  Don` t know what I was doing wrong, but I had to concede and change my evil ways, baby.

Then the careful measurement, not, and the precise placement, I rather doubt it, of each section of the snowflake.  My daughter had to cut each piece of tape off while I held it in place.  Sometimes she had to stand on some books to reach the tape and cut the exacting piece, which wasn`t exact.

Well, it took an hour or so, but we ended up with not one but three snowflakes on the wall.  And here is the outcome:




Hahaha, I know what you are saying, what`s the big deal?  It`s tape, you pull it off and cut it.  It is tape, not a drawing.   But let me tell you, THIS IS A BIG DEAL.  To construct it in this shape took the utmost concentration, patience (one of the three "p"s) and a couple hail Marys and prayers.   My wife was quite happy with it, my daughter was pleased and not crying about it (which signals success).  I can safely graduate from level 1 arts and crafts and move onto level two.  That comes in fact tomorrow when I have to decorate the Christmas tree.  Yes I know I know, we did it last year, but that was a year ago and if I only do it once a year, I have to learn the whole process over again.  I can`t remember how to do something that I do once a year.  It`s like my Mother recently said, "I have been making stuffing for the Thanksgiving turkeys for 60 years, but I still have to look at the recipe because I only do it once a year.  I cant remember the recipe from the last time I did it."     So.... wish me luck.  I am going to need it.
Taped Christmas tree done by older daughter

Image result for texas chainsaw murderer
Texas Chainsaw Murderer from the movie
    


 


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