A Modest Proposal : A New Tradition

This  post isn't really singular to being a stay at home Dad or anything to do with Fathers particularly.  A little bit with children.  But it has been on my mind.  It does have some connections with parenting in general.

Two weeks ago from this writing was Witches day.  April 30th.  I cant go into the background of this tradition, this day, perhaps there is more to it that I am missing.  I should provide a link of a history of witches day, but for the time being, the short of it is the town gets together in the community center or the local soccer field and sets up a cloth witch stuffed with paper or hay and decked out as an emblem of the real witch.  She, and yes all these witches are she, is on a pyre of wood beams and chips.  The town gathers and ... the witch is burned.

In our town some people dress up as witches.  Children also can dress up as witches.  I am not sure whether this is to mimic the witch or make a joke of the witch, but none of these people are burned.

I watched this year as the flames climbed.  When they reached the dress of the witch, the crowd

cheered.  When they hit her face the crowd cheered again, especially the children.  I couldn't help but feel sadness when I heard the children cheer when her face was burned.  I started to think that we were burning the wrong person and we were out of touch with reality and we should update this outdated tradition.  After all I think we have learned that many witches are very good with using natural healing processes and cultivating bio food, and perhaps also being vegetarians, though I am not sure of that last point, as they might use animals in other harmful methods.  Also because I have read so many Terry Pratchett books, I have come to view witches as good.

I propose we change the witch burning tradition and modernize it.

Pedophile in Big Lebowski film

I propose instead we make an effigy of a child molester, a pedophile and burn them.  For instance the likeness of the convicted killer of Etan Patz, as now his killer has been convicted.  Or maybe we don't even need an effigy.  We can have a real life child molester hooked up to the stack of wood and burn him, as long as it was 100 per cent clear he was a convicted molester.  I think that is something burned that even I could cheer and for sure kids could cheer the burning man too with a clear conscience.

If this would be difficult or objectionable, we could burn a likeness of Adolf Hitler, although perhaps kids wouldn't understand yet, especially the young ones.  Or again, we could find some local Neo Nazi and burn him, unless he promised to convert to the local centrist political party.

The point being that, really folks, some of these traditions have to die and or be modernized and galvanized.  I really have nothing against witches, whereas even in 100 years Adolf Hitler should be recognized as evil incarnate that can be burned in effigy every year.  Or child molesters.

Also maybe some of our children's stories should be changed.  I really don't want to read Brothers Grimm fairy tales to my kids as they are too violent and not understandable to kids these days.  Again, we can emphasize to our kids to stay away from lollipop soda pop giving adults and change the witch in Hansel and Gretal to a pedophile.  Push him in the fire kids and never eat sweet sugary snacks, especially those offered by strange men.

I digress now and branch out on too big a topic.  But I have a year to ponder it and plan.  I think next year at the annual witch burning I am going to sneak a Nazi flag into the witches dress, or else make my own "witch" to be burned that has an oversized groin section with a hairy chest sticking out from his flannel shirt.

Then again, if this is a witch it would be wise  to burn it

At the end of the Witch burning we all roast wursts on sticks over the fire and eat them.
Food for thought.

I have been listening to a lot of new music this week, but,
Today during this writing I was listening to an old band
Band of Susans "Wired for Sound 1986-1993".
One of the members is from my town I grew up in.  Susan.
I saw them in 1993 in my local club.  Great guitar band.