Now, I try to be accustomed to my younger daughter not wanting me to take care of her if Mom is around. She has been this way since she was two. If her Mother is there she wants Mommy to do whatever it is. I get it. I am starting to think that kids go between liking Mother and Father at different ages or they choose one over the other when they are toddlers. They may choose the other parent later in life. So, I¨m cool with it.
That¨s a lie of course. It still hurts to be rejected even like this.
Especially when I try to be an active Father taking care of the kids, well, at least 40 per cent during the week as the title of my blog implies. Since the 1960s in the U.S. there has been an evolution of parenting with fathers wanting to do more and spending more time with their kids. My Father was pretty good about this and did some housework too. I think he was ahead of his time. But now I am the next generation and we have to move this farther, evolutionize the role of dad as caregiver even more.
But my littlest daughter wont let me. If Mommy is around, Mommy is the one.
Anyway, back to the incident.
It¨s just a couple blocks to school, takes about 10 minutes to get there. Well, there were days in December in which my wife just couldn¨t take the kids to school. But they pushed hard for her to take them.
Finally a day came when Mommy just couldnt, had to go sooner or later to work, whatever. Couldnt.
My older girl got all pouty and said, well she didnt have to go with a parent and she wasnt going to go with me. She used to like walking to school with me. I wrote a post about it HERE, now several years back. But that is OK too, as kids want to be able to do stuff by themselves especially as they get older and older. That is a frequent cause of friction between kids and parents, BUT there is much scientific material which says that kids who act by themselves grow up more secure and independent.
Fine, you can go your own way, my daughter.
But I still legally had to accompany my younger daughter. She didnt like that at all. She ran ahead of me. But even though my legs are getting older, I have longer legs and could keep up with her. She didnt like this and yelled at me, but waited for me at the street corner before crossing. She was very frustrated that I was staying up with her and walking with her to school.
It was another day later in the week, maybe even Friday and I had to walk her to school again. She was angry. Why couldnt Mommy go with her?
This time she got to take the scooter (at the time, we only had one scooter and the girls would switch off taking it). So we went out and crossed the first street and she was off. I ran, but I couldnt keep up with her when she was on the scooter. Luckily she waited at the next crossing. But after we crossed she was off. Faster. I ran a block then walked.
It was about two minutes later that I reached her. She was standing at the corner waiting to cross it looked like. But there was a big man next to her. I came up to her and noticed it was a policeman.
"Is this your daughter sir?", he asked.
"Well yes, she is. She got ahead of me on her scooter and I couldnt keep up with her."
"Didnt look like you were so interested in catching up to her. You were just walking."
"This block, but I had been running before. I have a bad leg, it cramps up easily."
"That may be, but you cant let her get so far ahead of you. She is still, she told me she is 6, she still needs a parent or guardian to be with her outside."
"Well yes. Not to sound disrespectful, but that is why I am walking here on the street. Though, as I said, she got way ahead of me on her scooter."
"Yeah, she got too far ahead of you Sir. You better either get yourself a scooter to stay up with her, or not let her ride the scooter and get so far ahead of you. I wont write a citation now, but this is my regular walk beat in the morning, if I see her again and you arent in sight... it could be bad for you sir. Just to warn you. It could be bad for you as a parent. You are her parent or guardian? Do you have an ID, does she? Can I compare the names?"
Lucklly she had her picture ID in her bag and I always go with my ID in my back pocket. But I wasnt too pleased with this incident. IF I had been a kid, I would have gone into a tantrum, yelling, "it¨s not fair, I was trying to stay up with her, she was the one who didnt want to walk with me. It¨s not fair." But, I kept it inside and bit my lip.
We walked together down the last block to school.
It`s still the first month of the new year and I have taken them at least ten times to school. There havent been any complaints and I run alongside my younger daughter as she rides her scooter. They both have scooters now. I make sure to keep up with her, but she is a bit slower in winter and walks it up the hill to school.
Its a tough call. Who do you choose when you are between a young headstrong little girl... and a policeman with a badge and the full weight of the law behind him?
I have been listening to the newest Four Tet album "New Energy". Its his best album in several albums. I sell both the double vinyl and CD in my music store Maximum Underground. Come and visit and perhaps buy if you are in the neighborhood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWInZ4N6C2g
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