Extra appendage. Agh agh get it off, its killing her!!

I was in the middle of a post about how my daughter is more liberal than I am, and how did that come to pass?  When who should walk in the door at 1 am ? My daughter.  

The one hander

Now how and why did that happen?  I thought she was supposed to sleep over at a friends house?  But no, she was just walking around town for five hours and didnt have any supper.  So she came home at 1 am and basically says, "Where is dinner?"  Doh.

Yes, teenagers suck.  Although granted partyers do about the same but at 5am.  But she isnt a partyer, she is 14.  Or maybe I am wrong.   

At any rate, the point being, that she came home at 1am and what does she start doing?  Texting someone!!!!!   Argh.  I yell, go to bed, its 1am.  "But I"m hungry", she says.   Of course there is "nothing to eat" in the house so she wants to call McDonalds.  No way Jose I say, not at 1am, not delivering to my house at 1am.  

So she heats up some noodles and all the while her phone is in her hand.  I yell at her, "go to bed, or eat something, but get that phone out of your hand" 

"I m texting someone" is the yelled answer as if this is as important as saving the world.  She is holding off the international terrorists, world hunger and global warming because she is texting someone.  It is THAT important.  At 1am.  

To sound really sexist, but it really seems like the phone is an extra appendage of mostly young adult women and girl teenagers.  I notice that in my store. The ones who really dont know anything about music or my shop just walk around with their phone in their hand taking a picture or even filming. I hate being a museum piece, I dont like store tourists.  

Years ago, everyone would laugh at the Japanese tourists for taking pictures of everything.  In fact if you wanted to stereotype a Japanese person you made believe that you had a camera to your face. They would take pictures of any and everything:  inside stores, a light pole, an ordinary street.  Now all the girls have their phones and take pictures, more pictures than the Japanese ever did.  But these are young girls from a different generation, they never knew the joke about the Japanese camera happy tourists.  So now they are the same stereotype.... and worse.  Disgustingly worse.  

There it is in their hand.  ALL THE TIME!  

I want to take a picture of all the picture takers and put them up on my IG page, but I dont have an IG page being an old geezer who still only has facebook.  (young adult women /girls with phones in their hands never use facebook).  

Hasnt anyone invented an app where if you take a picture of something it messes up your camera, or something explodes in your face?   If I were a superhero I would invent that.  Tony Stark industries, invents the exploding selfie.  Or one of the super villains.  Green Goblin for instance and gives the app to Peter Parker who takes a picture for his journalistic job while swinging and the photo snaps his webbing and he falls.  Your phone catches fire or something if you take a picture of one of my records.  Please invent that. 

I had an exceptionally devilish album cover and I wrote on the cover that if you take a picture of this album cover you will be possessed by the devil within two weeks.   I really hope it wasnt a joke.  

But to get back to my daughter who is currently saving the world by texting her friend at 1.30am, so it is imperative that she does this, tell me how you can get anything done?  How do you make your 1am dinner with one hand holding a phone? Will they have new fangled TV dinners that can be heated up and eaten all with one hand so that people can be texting, my daughter, while she makes said dinner?  New Swanson TV dinner out now.  

Will it be spaghetti with ketchup?  That was made solely with one hand and will be eaten with one hand.  A mazing.  

It really does no good to yell at her as she just yells back at me that she must save the world with her texting.  "I m texting", she yells, as if this is ok because she is not on that dreaded anti christ Tik Tok which I hate even more.  

I wonder if I just stopped paying her phone bill. But people tell me that wont work as you can still send messages with whats app, you dont in fact need credit. Am I right or wrong?  My younger daughter doesnt have credit much of the time and it seems she can only read her messages but not answer them.  And if an emergency comes along and she cant use her phone to call, wasnt that the purpose we gave them a phone in the first place?  

Who was this jerk Steve Jobs or Black Berry anyway ?  

Isnt there some happy compromise some parents have developed which allows the phone service but disallows an overly amount of all the bad stuff?  My wife had it rigged that they had one hour a day on line.  But my older daughter figured out how to disengage that and I think it messed up my younger daughter because when we were out of the country she couldnt use whats app to call her mother. Or maybe I am wrong.  

Oh, I give up.  No, wait. I wont give up.  There must be an answer to this bastard appendage that grows on teenager girls hands and continues until they are young adults.   It is a cancer that must be extracted.  An addiction.  A, a,   

spaghetti and ketchup invention.    

Got the new Craven Faults album for sale on CD and 2LP 

I finally got the chance to listen to it here while I was writing