Winter Holiday

My wife has been crying for a family holiday for a long time.  It has been a source of much ill feeling that we havent been on a family holiday for ages.  Last week from this writing, we finally got on a family week holiday.  Holiday in the snow.  Winter vacation.

Now I know why she wanted a family holiday. 

It seems that I had to come along for the ride because a babysitter was needed. 

To be fair to my wife, its my fault. Its only because I cant ski.  I dont know what happened when I was a kid.  I just didnt want to learn.  My sister learned.  She loved it.  I could have learned.  Just didnt.  Just didnt want to.  So thats what I get then when we go on vacation in ski paradise country.  I have to take care of the littlest one.  Baby sit.

Why does going to the foot of the mountain in my hobnailed boots with all the people coming down whoosh whoosh whoosh on their skis and Boards make me feel impotent?  Any way I tried, there was no possibility I could get my ego up or try to think that I was cool or too cool for this skiing thing.  Nope.  Rather the word "loser" bounced around my head more than not.  Why do males so often have to make comparisons to impotency when they cant do something?  I dont know.  I guess something about getting it up that is the essence of maledom and if you cant then... you aint.  Kind of sad really.  But its true, I was a limp ick every time I went to that ski hill.  

My older daughter, this is her second year of skiing, and already she was going down the hill from the very top.  Oh yes, the top of the hill rated "black" as in the most difficult, the deadliest.  Shes five years old for crying out loud and here she is going down the death slopes.

It was unfair.  My wife had a job that she really enjoyed.  She was ski instructor.  She couldnt get up to her own speed most of the time, but at least she was doing what she wanted to do.  Me?  Well, more pity for my little daughter, two and a half years at this writing who doesnt seem to be the great outdoors woman as of yet.  She got on some skis, we tried to get her started.  That lasted 20 minutes.  I brought her sledding down a little hill.  I at least love to sled.  She enjoyed it for ... 15 minutes . Then again Im not sure she enjoyed it at all.  So, poor girl. What her days consisted of were going to the slopes in the morning to watch her sister or Mommy for a while, then eating a snack with them and then crying terribly as I forced her to walk home with me, her impotent, non skiing Father, so she could take her afternoon nap.  She cried hard the first day.  Second day better, third day, still, but less.  The sledding day even more.  Then she would take her nap. I would watch the stocks or read.  Then when she woke up we would trek back over to the slopes and bring Mommy and older sister home.  Then dinner and some short evening playing.

I guess its rather good that two year olds dont need the entertainment of teenagers.  I would have been the most hated person and the whole vacation would have been a bore.  I remember when my older sister was bored on our vacation in Italy.  She just stayed in the car.  Just stayed in the car for crying out loud.. in Italy, in the mountains, on a lake!!  She was a teenager.  My two year old doesnt need so many distractions.  In fact, all she wanted was to be with her Mommy.  Which was mostly what she couldnt have. Because Mommy s job was ski instructor for her sibling.  Hence, the hardcore crying.

I dont know why I complain, because being a father is by definition being partly a baby sitter.  But that is not what i wanted on my vacation.  Its what I got.  Its OK,  I realize you cant always do what you want when you are parent, in fact as a dedicated Father, you can do even less of what you want to do a lot of times.  Didnt some rock singer write something of the sort in a song?  "You cant always do what you want to do".  Something of the sort. Anyway, I really dont mind.  Im cool with it.  But I dont like being impotent.  That is taking it too far.  

I was really looking forward to the sledding on this vacation.  I didnt get it.  Oh well, next time.   No biggie.  Pun intended.  All in the days work of Home Daddy. 

Cant wait for summer.  I ll be swim instructor.  Making sure her head doesnt go under water.  Trying to get her to kick and stroke and worrying about her hating it all along. Ill be frantic and frustrated  and, and Mommy will be... uh... I guess taking a nap.  That sounds good too.  Uh, wait a sec. What was I complaining about again?