Upstairs Downstairs

My wife started a new job two weeks ago from this writing.  I have to say I think it is working out comparatively well for us on task distribution.  I had a lot of troubles with my business in the last year, but my wife had more time to take care of the kids and be the main parent.  I didn't like this situation, of course not, but things kept happening beyond my control, and the general condition of the business, which WAS within my control to change,  was and still is, not up to speed.  At least one problem of getting a good worker seems to have been taken care of.  This enables me to stay at home more and take over parenting duties, or at least increase my percentage from its very low amount in the past year.

So now I am more able to stay at home or be the main parent during the day and be "Daddy 40% or More" again.  (Granted my wife still does the cooking as my skills in that department are far below hers and definitely lacking. )  And this is exactly what has happened.

Just in time. In the last two weeks, I have taken one child to the skin doctor (I always panic a little when I have to take them to a doctor), come home early on a Friday at 1pm, gone to a kids exercise carnival day, and for the past couple work days continuing the week of March 21st,  I have to be at home all the time for a sick child.  Its like a return to when she was two years old.  It is a lot more stay at home work.

I am not complaining,  I am just worrying, as I tend to do.  Before I was worrying about not being a good Father.  Now, I worry about my business.  It still needs a strong hand to get it up to full power.  Maybe it needs a stronger hand than I have.  At any rate, I feel like the Owl in Arnold Loebs` children's`story in the Owl series called "Upstairs Downstairs".   Owl wanted to know what was going on downstairs when he was upstairs, so he would go back downstairs.  But then he wanted to know how it was upstairs and he would run back upstairs.  He wanted to be in both places at once.  Thus he began running back and forth, trying to run ever faster to be in both places at the same time.  If you are an adult you naturally laugh at Owl for being ridiculous and trying to accomplish the impossible, but one fails to look at his own life and see that he/she actually does the same as owl does, knowingly or not.  I guess that is what I am doing.  Trying to be both upstairs and downstairs at the same time.

"Owl ran upstairs and downstairs all evening."

 

           

In the last troublesome year, I felt bad for working sometimes even six days a week because it meant coming home late in the evening and not contributing much to my kids well being or parenting.  Now, I am home three work days a week in the last two weeks and I worry how I can afford it with my business. I am doing the same thing as Owl: running upstairs and worrying about what is happening downstairs and running back downstairs.   Maybe that is the natural dilemma of being  a "Daddy 40% or more stay at home father".  You are either upstairs or downstairs but you want to be in both places at once.

Accomplishing the impossible, well, is impossible.  Not going to happen.   Silly Owl.  Silly Daddy.  

In the end Owl is tired out from his running upstairs and downstairs and sits down on the tenth step of the stairs exactly in the middle.  I only hope that is what will happen to me too.  But I am not there yet.  I am still running upstairs and downstairs.       

*Disclosure.  I received no compensation from anybody in writing this post.  I merely like the story and the book and thought it was a good example of my situation.  I have no connections with the author or anyone connected to the printing or distributing or selling of this book.